Face or avoid a bully

[Domino]

I was getting hassle from a colleague at work, this went on for several weeks and it was constant. I eventually informed the office but it only made things worse between us cause they asked the person what the problem was and that person replied that there wasn't a problem! It got to the point that i s-harmed quite bad and needed 2 days off. I was told to go to the office to talk to personnel, i explained and from then on the bully and i were separated but it didn't stop the person from still giving me a hard time in other ways (person doesn't know i self harmed) but I could deal with it fine because there was distance between us, we have been separated for a while now. We live & work in the same town & i worry about bumping into this person so I stay at home alot. I have s-harmed since then but not as often, I am now being told I am back on working with this person next week and we have a group meeting next week too, since hearing this i have very strong urges to s-harm and don't know if i can face next week at all. I don't want to be cowardly and would like to sort things out eventually, i told my friends id like to sort things out with this person but now i'm not sure. I know what this person is like and i know she wants me out of this job, the person can't be reasoned with & her word is final.

Do I face this person again or do I take myself out of the situation by asking not to work with her?


I'm on my own with this  :help:

[howling]

if it were me i would have to ask her. stay calm, be strong and ask if you have done anything to upset her or offend her, if nothing, explain to her how she is making you feel. i have found with experiene how many people are stunned when you face up to them. how ever, if you feel this is something you cant do, you should have the right to take out a formal grievance against her, and it should be taken seriously. it amounts to bullying if she is leaving you feel like this. citizens advice or do you have a union rep you can talk too? im sorry for you. some people are so evil and make me mad. good luck and keep talking!!!

[Domino]

Thanks howling x

I could really do without this person in my life (evil, twisted, negative individual!)

I guess facing them shows strength, but last time we worked together it ended up in a major argument, I have a short fuse when it comes to bullies!
I thought i could control my anger but looking back I think i just buried it, letting it build up and cause ive been working long hours and earlier starts ive not had a chance to go for a run in the morning (which was helping to feel good i guess) ive not had time to do anything but work and take crap from this person. think its finally starting to take hold.

just don't feel like im getting support from office, feels like they really don't care!

but i guess i should face her, but later on that day i have a meeting with personnel cause ive taking a 2nd job to help pay the bills and they are not to happy that i am not on available to them 24/7!!! if this person starts any of her crap, i guess ill just say at the meeting i want to make a formal complaint against her if things go s**t shaped!

[howling]

the internet is actually a useful tool to learn your work rights and your works duty of care to you. i used to work for a company that sounds like yours. they expect the work load and cant be bothered with hassle. dont give up. google bullying in the workplace. put that b**** in her place but you must remain absolutely calm or your case wont be strong.

[Domino]

thanks, I'll investigate my rights at work before i go to this meeting.

wish I could find a better job tho 

I'll have a go at facing this b**** I just hope it passes quick & without trouble!

[howling]

yes i do understand the wanting to find a better job. i just try and make the most of what ive got. good luck with your meeting and hope you can get this sorted. you should not have to endure this crap. xxxxx

[Lily Kym]

poor you. i fully understand what you're going through, as i have been bullied at work, both physical and mental.

it's so hard.

i would suggest you keep a good diary (dates / times) stating what has happened etc etc. you need to try and tell this person (can be in writing or verbally from what i understand) that "your behavior is affecting me badly, i would prefer that you don't x, y, z me in future".

Once this continues (IF it does, though saying the above usually does the trick ...) then you have grounds for formal complaint.

There is always a route of a mentor coming in to facilitate a meeting? How would you feel about that?
 

[Domino]

thanks lily x

I have started a diary of what's been going on, I have noticed & heard rumours this person has targeted a new start, I reported it but it seemed to fall on deaf ears! Other people don't want to report because they have seen what happened to me as it has backfired and made it worse because I had reported this person. This person knows I reported her and is itching for a chance to report me.

Regards to the meeting, I don't really have anyone to go with me, others don't want to get involved.
But I will voice my concerns again with personnel.

Still looking for another job & I'm going to find out if I can go full-time with the 2nd job I have.

I'll update on how it goes.
Thanks for the advice, it's nice to hear from people that understand x