Author Topic: What to do about work?  (Read 966 times)

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Offline Dawn

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What to do about work?
« on: July 19, 2016, 10:05:16 PM »
Hi,
Just needed some views from other people in similar situation. My daughter started SH probably around 18 months ago by hitting herself with a brush on her legs. I noticed bruising. A few months on from that and things got worse and she started seeing CAMHS. The service we got at that point was very bad and we were messed about a lot. She was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. In Sept 2105 she started cutting herself and in Oct overdosed (thankfully not badly). Dark times. 7 months down the line - 6 hosp overnight stays, running away, suicide threats, lots of cutting all over her body. CAMHS kicked up a gear and we are receiving good help. However saying that, things are still bad. 3 weeks ago i got to a point of not coping as I was ill. I was signed off work.
Has anyone ever got any benefits for being a carer for their child? My work have been very good but I've had lots of time off ( her school attendance only 64%). I'm in a fiddle about the hols as she is a risk to be alone for long periods, has limited friends and we have no close relatives. MAT team are insinuating she shouldn't be left but I have to earn money. Do I just go on long term sick to be her carer. I'm at my wits end as the thought of anything serious happening because I was at work. I love my girl. I don't know what to think or what to do any more.

Offline SteveP

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Re: What to do about work?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2016, 10:12:29 PM »
OK, I cant answer to much, Im not in your position but there is a couple of things I can say
Firstly, and it sounds as of you have this one down pat, is to support your, there is quite a it of advice, including on this site
Secondly, and this is the difficult one I'm afraid. You have to look after your self, On a selfish view you cant help your daughter if you are not in the right place, and healthy yourself.. On a practical view if you dont care for your self then there is both you and your daughter needing HNS support.

Key thing to remember is that you have already shown your care and love for her, that is worth more than almost anything else to her, believe me.
And lots of advice from other here will be forthcoming I am sure

Offline Vermilion

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Re: What to do about work?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2016, 10:40:04 PM »
I'm pretty sure that if you're helping a family member to cope with day to day life you can claim carers allowance. I'm not sure how to go about it but the CAB should be able to help you with that.

As Steve has already said, you need to make sure that you are physically and mentally well yourself. Make sure that you have some emotional support, if there's no family or friends that you can trust you could try some MH charities or local support groups.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2016, 10:49:26 PM by Vermilion »

Offline Dawn

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Re: What to do about work?
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2016, 05:51:03 PM »
Thanks Vermillion and Steve, I have spoken to CAB now and you can only get carers if your child is on DLA (under 16). I'm also going to GP and see what he thinks about being off for few more weeks. If I'm honest I am tired and know deep down I'm not ready to tackle work yet and know if my daughter has a bad moment then it'll knock me off balance. I'm also dealing with moving my dad, who has Alzheimer's, from his current care home as they were a whisker away from being closed down due to safeguarding issues. Fun times.
Thanks again though.

Offline Lorien

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Re: What to do about work?
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2016, 01:36:56 PM »
Employees who have caring responsibilities are protected by some additional employment rights, but i think what it actually amounts to in real terms depends a lot on where you are working and how they uphold that. Where I work as long as the time is discussed with managers unpaid leave can be taken whenever it is needed, but there is a quota of paid leave days in some circumstances. But then i work for a large organisation so i would imagine its a reasonably good deal or unions would challenge it.

have you talked to CAMHs about how other families manage?
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Offline billy

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Re: What to do about work?
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2017, 07:22:47 PM »
Citizens advice might be worth a try with the work situation to see where you stand
"evrything can be recycled except time!"

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