Hi hun. You are worthy to be helped and listened to, I know it can be hard to understand when you feel so low but it is true, please believe that.
It's hard not to have a support network around you, I understand, I live by myself too and I don't have many people in my life. What I have found helpful is having a pet. The great thing about them is that they depend on you and I have found that comforting, whatever you are feeling, they always need feeding and watering, having their litter changed or being taken out for a walk, I find animals supportive. They are great to talk to. Do you have a pet or thought about one? If you are in a position to do so that is. Maybe you could even adopt a giraffe?
I know you find it hard to talk, maybe practice is the key? There is a topic around here called 'say what you can't say in person' and that's not for anyone to reply to you or judge you on it, it is just what it says. Keep trying, you will get there.