Therapy

[terrified heart]

I have decided I need some kind of therapy...

I have a crippling fear of responsibility. Any kind of responsibility terrifies me. It's ruining almost every aspect of my life. My career opportunities are drastically reduced, because I couldn't cope with having a job with any level of responsibility. I have a degree in psychology and almost a masters degree in the subject and have dreamed of being a professional psychologist since I was 14, but I know there is no way I could cope with being responsible for clients welfare. I have long ago given up the idea of ever being a parent because I have a huge and terrifying fear of looking after a child.  I was even physically sick with fear of responsibility when I had a dog. I had to give the dog up after a month because the crippling fear was too much to cope with.

I've never admitted this fear before. I've always keep it hidden and just said I don't want a dog/job/kids... But I really do feel I'm missing out on so much in life because of this. I hate that I can't cope with many of the things other people cope with.

I'm really wondering if some form of therapy might help?? I'm no longer under CMHT, and to be honest when I was seeing professionals in depth therapy was never an option, just general coping skills, help with life skills and medication. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but I work full time and have an OK level of savings, so private therapy is an option for me. I'm just unsure what type of therapy to look for, or how to go about organising it.


Thank you in advance xx
Anyone have any advice? I'd so love to tackle these issues and open up more opportunities for myself.

[Louise]

Hi

Just a idea from my own personal experiences, but it may be worth looking into psychoanalytical therapy?

From what you have said, it sounds like it may be more what you are looking for than the usual "coping with feelings" type CBT therapy - it tends to focus more on your unconscious mind and discovering *why* you think in certain ways that differ from the accepted societal norms-  the assumption being obviously that an awareness of where issues come from will allow you to beter understand ways to deal with them yourself and challenge them.

It is a pretty long term, in depth commitment and not one designed for people in a state of crisis, more of a exploratory thing really. It comes across from your post like it could be ideal for someone in your position - the one thing I would say is that it involves a lot of honest, open communication from you and a good trusting relationship with the therapist, so it is important to make sure the dynamic between the two of you feels right and will be an environment conducive to you going to places within your own mind that are not particularly comfortable and which you may not have thought were there before.

Good luck x

[terrified heart]

Thank you so much Louise xx

That definitely sounds like something which could work for me. I'm going to do some research into it and its availability in my area. Thank you for giving me a starting point xx