Thank you so much for both responses.
I have had to end therapy due to self harming for the first time in six months. I was completely honest and committed to therapy, but he said he wouldn't tolerate any self harm (not that I wasn't ready for therapy or the therapy was harming me, just that he thinks it is anti therapeutic, not a good thing to do). I feel a total failure and will have to look for someone else private. It was a bad way to end after so much time and money invested in therapy. I am very upset which is hard when the NHS won't see me and I have to keep my job or I'm stuffed.