Dealing with scars during the summer :(

[Saffron003]

Hi, this is my first post.
I've been cutting since I was 14 and now I'm 18, and my cutting has reduced a lot and I'm really trying hard to stop for good.I see a counselor weakly which is helping, but it's baby steps.  But I have lots of really visible scars on both forearms which are purply/red colour and some are quite raised, and I have white ones which are also visible. During the summer I really don't want to cover up with cardigans and long sleeve shirts because its uncomfortable and I have a low tolerance to heat too.
 But I'm so scared people are going to judge me and call me 'attention seeker' and things like that, or I'll scare people away and make them feel sick or uncomfortable when they look at me. If they were fresh cuts I would never think of showing my arms but these scars are more than 2 years old but people will still judge me as if it was yesterday. For the past couple of summers I've caked my arms in foundation to reduce the horrible appearance but that gets all over my clothes and is expensive too for the good ones.
A part of me just wants to be free and accept the scars but then i'm so scared of the consequences. However it feels A LOT scarier 'exposing myself' to family rather than strangers in the street for example. But then i'm terrified about college too. I don't  have many friends so I wouldn't have anyone to have my back if someone does confront me in a bad way.
I'm really angry at myself for doing this to my body. I don't blame anyone for being disgusted at me.
What should I do? anyone got similar experiences or can tell me about what happened with their scars? thanks in advance 

[Lorien]

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=10734.0
 this may help

I dont show my scars to anyone, but i work with someone who doesn't cover hers. No one at work comments at all.

i think it takes a lot of confidence to do that. maybe if it is something that you want to consider doing in future it might be a good idea to go somewhere where you wont see lots of people that you know and build it up slowly/

[Saffron003]

Hi, thanks for the reply
The link was helpful but regarding camouflaging creams, my counselor says that i'll have to stop for like 4 months before he'll refer me to a dermatologist which is a shame but understandable.
Your colleges experience sounds encouraging. May I ask why you decided to not show your scars to anyone?
thanks again :D

[Lorien]

My scars are mostly on my upper arms and thighs. I guess that I might feel differently if they were in places that are harder to hide. Personally I wouldnt want people to think I was making an effort to show them if that makes sense. If I wore a vest for example there are several different types of tops I could have chosen to wear. Also they are in a sort of block from shoulder to sleeve level. So I wouldn't be able to excuse them in any way and I find social situations difficult enough without adding to the things that people 'might' be thinking.

I am also very judgemental about s/h and have a specific set of rules for myself. I expect others to have the same set of rules so I would be worried in a very warped way that the earlier stuff I did when I was 12/13 would be judged as 'not enough' becaise that is how I see it. Finally my scars are very personal for me. There are times that I hate them, there are times I cant look myself and there are times that I 'like' them. I wouldnt want to look at them either. I think for me...I need to be more comfortable with my scars before I can allow others to see them.

That said, it is my personal feelings about my own scars. I am very different with other people's. My colleague - I am quite jealous of the strength she has to be herself and to hell with everyone else's opinions. We work with children who have disabilities. A few are very sensory. I would be horrified if a child felt my scars. I dont think she lets that happen either, but she also has a few cover up tattoos on some of them.

[Sian-May]

My scars are big and purpley and on my lower legs from knees to ankles and I wore shorts the other day without tights.

I used to be really ashamed and would never show my scars to anyone but with summmer approaching I decided "stuff it" and I don't care any more. People can look all they want, doesn't bother me anymore. I'm not going to let some scars stop me from dressing how I want to dress.

If I am feeling self conscious of them I'll use concealer or blot a tiny amount of foundation on them - you don't need to rub loads over them, just dab little bits on. Also, look at getting some bio oil (wilkos do their own version for under £2!), use that twice daily for a couple of months and your scars should be a lot less visible.