Advice please? Trig SH

[mnemy]

Hi, sorry if this isn't the right place for this but I kindof would primarily like advice from friends/family rather than other SHers, so I figured maybe this might be the best place.

I've been SHing for about 9 years, and having tried over and over again I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm unable to quit on my own, however stupid that is.
My problem is that when I was 15 (about 4 years ago) my parents found out that I had been doing this, and I was referred to CAMHS and given that opportunity of help, and I desperately lied my way out of it and somehow managed to convinced everyone that I'd only done it 3 times.

The situation is kindof complicated by the fact that my dad is very uninvolved, my mum is not really emotionally equipped to deal with it, and I don't have any close extended family. I have a few really good friends but my best friend really struggles with anxiety himself and so I don't feel it's fair to put my problems on him as well, and just generally I don't really know what I expect them to do, so it just generally feels really selfish to involve them.

So I guess I don't really know what the question is but I'd just like advice from the family/friends side of it, as I feel like I had my chance at help and I blew it, but at the same time I'll be 20 soon and I don't want to carry on like this.

Thanks if anyone can be bothered to read all that, any advice would be really really appreciated, even if it is just confirming that I blew it 4 years ago and just need to deal with it (:
x

[greenday]

hay my name is greenday and welcome to the site im only 16 but its hard to stop sh but u can do it try to think of things u like to do alot and be happy doing them 

[danceforabeat]

Hi mnemy,

I'm a SHer rather than a friend/family member so I might not be that helpful but you don't say in your post whether you've approached a doctor/other health professional? I'm assuming you're meaning you don't think you'll get support from family but you should be able to get help from your doctor, who may refer you to other services that can be of help. Just because you didn't end up dealing with things through CAMHS four years ago, that doesn't mean you can't get help now.

I did a similar things - I was referred to CAMHS when I was 13 and covered up how bad things were, mostly because my parents couldn't deal with it (but were involved with treatment because of my age), but also because I was very comfortable with the CPN at CAMHS I used to see and didn't feel like I could speak up about that at that age. Then when I was 20 I went to the doctors because I was self-harming and she referred me to a CPN who was really nice and helpful and I went to see every couple of weeks for a few months - and I didn't tell any family members.

Maybe, if you haven't seen a doctor already, you could do that first and talk to your family later if you feel you want to?

[greenday]

ya im still in cahms and its not going well but try to be happy 

[mnemy]

Agh I totally forgot I posted here. Thanks for replying

I know this sounds stupid but I can't see a doctor without my mum knowing as I'm living at home and I have no freedom to go out on my own.

But thanks anyway, hope everything gets better for both of you
x

[greenday]

thtanks how r u today