Author Topic: support *sh *sui  (Read 702 times)

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Offline catapult

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support *sh *sui
« on: May 22, 2012, 11:48:37 PM »
Hey guys, wasnt sure wether to drop in or not but thought id update, coz i appreciated the support i was getting here before i cracked up. I had a real bad crash at the weekend, i took myself to A&E on sunday morning to get cuts seen to, and was immediatley detained. I was in hospital from sunday morning till yesterday afternoon, when, after lots of conversations with lots of professionals, was taken to a crisis house, which is where ive been since. Im not under a section, but its one step away. Sort of a halfway point, stop it before it gets any worse in a way.

So i cracked up. Spoke to pshyce today, am coming off the venlafaxine coz its sent me off my rocker, so, in a few days ill be completley anti depressant free for the first time in 15 years. Scary, but im told its the right thing to do. Just gotta try i guess.

Its pretty scary here. But they let me bring my laptop in so i can keep in touch with the world.

Need a darn big hug!! Only a couple of freinds know im here, my family dont know, an no one else does. feel quite alone with it. just trying to cope.

Im safe here, i guess thats all that matters. if i hurt myself while im here ill be sectioned. im actually feeling pretty stressed out tonight, first day coming off meds. aargh! everything looks like a tool! gonna shut up now, sorry for the ramble.
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

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Offline Patient Pianist

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2012, 11:51:44 PM »
 :hug1:
am sorry things have been so rough
am glad you got yourself to a&e
whats making things hard tonight, coming off meds is hard,
do you have contact with the people who know you're where you are? xxxx

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2012, 11:59:08 PM »
yeah it was tough taking myself to hospital, but i needed my wounds taking care of, i just didnt expect this to happen. i think tonight im just reacting to the start of withdrawal. feel quite stressed and wired.  yeah i have contact with the couple of freinds that know im here. im allowed out so theyre gonna come get me at the weekend (if im still here then) and take me out climbing somehwere. im under strict orders from the pshyce here to do as much exercise as possible! weird prescription considering im so exhausted, but i guess i just gotta do as im told!

thanks for the support  :hug2:
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

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Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2012, 01:50:57 PM »
have discharged myself from the crisis house today. so im back at home. didnt want to be there. too many people an it was so frustrating i just had to leave. crisis are coming to see me 2moro morning.

im in withdrawal from venlafaxine, and have been given Buspirone to help with symptoms. it seems mad that theyre wanting me off medication. given the past couple of weeks. but to hell with it. i think im past caring about it.

am back in bed on my laptop. will try to keep safe.
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090

Offline Patient Pianist

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2012, 09:03:48 PM »
Hey
How are you doing?  here if you want to talk at all xx
 :hug1:

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2012, 10:56:18 PM »
im doing okay at the min. i had to call crisis at around 8 coz was starting to worry about myself again. after speaking to them i went out for a run and ive felt much calmer since. have had a bath and something to eat. so im doing okay at the minute thankyou  :hug2:
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2012, 07:17:33 PM »
Feeling really bad again. Got so much on my mind so many worries everything seems completley impossible and pointless.

hopeless
lost
in pain
upset
lonely
confused

my head is a mess and i dont want to be here anymore
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2012, 09:05:12 PM »
have cut. have done something else i dont want to say on here incase i cant. dont feel safe. dont know what to do. im not on the venlafaxine anymore, shrink in crisis house took me off it, gave me buspirone, which i honestly think is a placebo, an only gave me a week or so, took it for a week an im not bothering anymore. im off anti depressants for the first time in 15 years.

and i cant even think.
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2012, 09:38:45 PM »
im not safe and i cant think what do i do  :'(
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090

Offline catapult

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Re: support *sh *sui
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2012, 09:51:39 PM »
i called crisis and they didnt even pick up.

please lock this thread now. thankyou. lock please
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

NHS Direct 0845 4647   Samaritans 08457 909090 - Text Sams 07725909090