Hello everyone,im new on here as i am seeking help about my 18 year old son who is self harming.
I first discovered by accident last year when he was 17 that he was self harming,he happened to be coming out of the shower while i was coming out of our bedroom,he had a bunch of scratches on his upper arm,i asked how he got them and he said a few excuses that he caught it on something etc...... but i knew somehow he had done it himself, it was a huge shock as then i did not really understand SH at all and eventually later i talked to him and he admitted he had done it to himself,we had a bit of a chat, he was not too talkative and reading between the lines he was having difficulty coping with a fall out with a friend and he admitted he does not like to get angry and he gets upset when him and his friends have fall outs.
I didnt get much more out of him,he did though let me treat his scratches with antiseptic skin healing cream,after this it took me a while to get over the shock and all i could do was worry about him a lot,although after this he seemed completely happy and i did say that if anytime he wanted to talk i was here for him,and he can talk about anything he wants to.I left it at this and started to read up on SH on this site and others,it was a while before i discovered he had done it again, this time after a fall out with a very close friend of his,this time we chatted about visiting our GP which he agreed to,he had a few visits to the GP who wanted him to go to see a counsellor but he refused this as he feels he does not want to go.We had a talk and i must admit i wanted him to go but he refuses, so i didnt want to push any more,im constantly worried about him though,everything with him seemed fine for a while until last week when i came across some blood in the bathroom, not a lot but i asked if he was ok and he said he had a nosebleed,well i had to ask if he has SH again and he said no he has not but he has started to wear long sleeves a lot more than he used to in the house, so i think its happened again,i asked if i could see his arms and he wont so i gave him a tube of antiseptic skin cream this time i have left him to it and im pretty sure he has used the cream so i think it has definetly happened again.
I have been on here and printed info out for us as parents and for him but i dont think he has looked at his,i am of course worrying again and he has clammed up again so i do not want to push him, ive hugged him and said that we are there for him, but i feel helpless at what else to do and i cannot help worrying about him and to what to do next,i understand that you cannot push them into anything he does not want to do but standing by we feel so helpless.
I would be grateful for any advice maybe anyone can offer who has gone through the same thing,many many thanks if anyone can help