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Author Topic: bad thoughts *trig Sui*  (Read 3483 times)
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terrified heart
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« Reply #120 on: May 17, 2012, 02:57:13 AM »

Thank you Hun, means a lot xx

Tried crisis again but still answer phone.

Am seriously contemplating SHing. Wonder if it would offer me a bit of respite from the suicidal thoughts and help me sleep tonight. It's just the swimming that's stopping me. Don't know if a harm would be healed enough by Mon to go swimming and don't know what excuse I could use for not going if it isn't.

Don't think sleep is going to come tonight. Just pray I can get up early in the morning so I can go ask for some help.
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« Reply #121 on: May 17, 2012, 02:59:49 AM »

Try crisis again hunni sh is not worth it believe me,wish I could give you more xx
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Nightowl
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« Reply #122 on: May 17, 2012, 05:56:47 AM »

Hope you managed to get some sleep and are able to get up and go to the CMHT.

If you can try and think about what you want from them, I know it's hard but it's often what they ask.  Think about whether you're asking for a meds change, HTT or admission for example.

Thinking of you  littlehug1
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When you feel like letting go, hold on.

Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow".

Maryanne Radanbacher
 
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terrified heart
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« Reply #123 on: May 17, 2012, 11:22:59 AM »

Thank you Hun xx

Just spoke to duty on the phone for half an hour. It was helpful. Just helped to say how I felt and to feel that someone was actually listening. Have to ring cmht reception in a min to book an appointment with my psych as duty worker didn't have access to the booking system. Need to get a meds review and a general MH review.

Nothing been set up such as HTT, but been told I can ring duty during the day and crisis at night. Lady I just spoke to helped me put some plans in place for next few days to help me get out of bed during the day. Mon I am seeing psychologist, Tues I am seeing CPN and Weds I start the new anxiety management group so am pretty set up for next week.

Got up at 9.30am today and haven't been back to bed, even tho been tempted. Got work at 12.30 til 6, then slimming world at 7.
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« Reply #124 on: May 17, 2012, 06:18:23 PM »

Survived my shift at work. There was one point I was on the verge of tears, but managed to calm down. Helped that I like who I was working with. Got to go to slimming world in about half an hour, so will have been out of bed all day.

Rang cmht and got an appointment with my psych for next weds so only a week to wait. Seems I've slipped through the net as I'm supposed to be seen at least every 6 weeks by him, but haven't seen him properly since Jan. saw him briefly when he changed my clopixal dose, but it was very brief.

Hope I can sleep tonight, but if I don't I will call crisis again. I did get through last night in the end and the man I spoke to said I can ring as frequently as I need to, even if that is several times in a night, so that has reassured me it's ok to ring.
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« Reply #125 on: May 17, 2012, 06:58:09 PM »

 littlehug1 littlehug2 littlehug1 littlehug2 littlehug1 littlehug2 xx
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« Reply #126 on: May 17, 2012, 07:33:01 PM »

Hope you have a good evening and a peaceful night.  littlehug1

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« Reply #127 on: May 17, 2012, 09:28:07 PM »

Thank you both  littlehug1  littlehug2

Had a loss at slimming world so that was good.

Feeling really unsettled this evening. Dreading not being able to sleep tonight, which I know is very negative thinking.

Worrying about the weekend and cmht not being open for 2 days. Also have no plans yet for Sat or Sun so worried I'll just end up hiding in bed again.

Tomorrow I have another shift at work so have a reason to get up.
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Formely Ms Boots


« Reply #128 on: May 17, 2012, 09:49:01 PM »

Can you maybe start thinking of something to do over the weekend,maybe just go for a coffee,or go to the library,sorry if that's pants,hope you get some decent rest tonight,sending some sleepy dust your way,hope work goes well tomorrow,take care  littlehug1 littlehug2 xx
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« Reply #129 on: May 18, 2012, 06:55:15 PM »

Thanks ms boots xx

Didn't get to sleep until gone 3am last night. Was so tired this morning and ended up staying in bed. Was almost late for work but just got there in time. I have been shattered all day. Just know as soon as I go to bed I will be all awake tho.

Still feeling really low. Can't seem to shift this low mood. Don't actually feel in danger anymore tho so that is good. Just hope psych can offer some help on Weds otherwise I will feel even more hopeless and at risk again.

Managed to make some plans for tomorrow. Have text step brother and am going round to his for a cuppa. Mum is ba k from holiday tomorrow night so hoping I will see her on Sunday.
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