bad thoughts *trig Sui*

[greenday]

nothing to say but try your best 

[terrified heart]

Thanks xx

Last night was hard. Was really worried about ODing. Didn't sleep til gone 3 but did then sleep until 10.

Today been a bit better. Got up at midday and havent been back to bed. Have done most of housework, a load of washing, and changed my bedding. Not feeling so overwhelmed now.

Am really struggling to stick to slimming world plan, finding it hard to keep to under 15 syns a day. Trying my best though and mostly managing.

Going to try and see my CPN tomorrow before psychology appointment. Might ask for HTT to become involved. Going to be truthful about Sui thoughts and low mood and see if I can get some extra support. Mood always crashes after psychology, and it's low to start with.

[Lily Kym]

 

[terrified heart]

Thanks lily kym 
Xx

[terrified heart]

Can't sleep. Again. Neighbour being noisy. Again. Have had half a zopiclone and a sominex but can't drop off. Trying not to take Valium as only have one left and might not be able to get to pharmacy tomorrow. Might need it more tomorrow.

Feel so hopeless. Feel like such a failure. Can't even get going to sleep and waking up at sensible times right.

Have an alarm set for the morning. MUST get up early and make myself STAY UP. Got workmen coming tomorrow sometime between 9.30 & 2.30. I hope they come early so I can get to the shop. Have psychologist at 3, then swimming at 8.

Get such horrid thoughts at night. Wish I could sleep through them. Lots of suicide thoughts in my head.

[jstcantstop]

Here if you want to chat.

Night times are always hard honey. Can you have a hot drink and read, rather than sit there beating yourself up about not sleeping. Maybe a bath.

It sounds liek you have a busy day tomorrow and lots to keep you distracted.

I can't sleep either, so if you want to chat,i'm here
 

[Terrier]

Hi, sorry not much to say but hope today goes well for you. 

 

[jstcantstop]

How are you today? xxx

[terrified heart]

Hi

Saw psychologist today. It went ok. Didn't talk about anything upsetting as we both thought I wouldn't cope with that at the moment. He said I present as I'm in a deep depression. Lack of energy, loss of motivation, slow speech, avoiding eye contact, suicidal thoughts etc... He is going to feed back to care team to see if they can offer me extra support and/or a med review.

CPN rang just before 5. She is only available tomorrow afternoon this week and I am working so cant see her until next Tues. Don't think she had spoke to psychologist as she didn't mention anything he said.

Trying to psyche myself up for swimming this evening. Not feeling at all confident and would rather not go, but feel I should as I've paid for the lesson. Usually go with mum but she's away so have to motivate myself.

Everything is just a big struggle.

[greenday]

hay dont be aferad tyr to be positive big huges