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Author Topic: bad thoughts *trig Sui*  (Read 4687 times)
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Terrier
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« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2012, 08:47:59 AM »

Happy Birthday for yesterday. Good news about the swimming should be able to start making good progress with that now.

Sorry last night was bad, but that doesn't mean this year wont be better for you.

Not easy I know but the past is the past, try and concentrate on positive things for future such as swimming and I think you were considering a uni course. This year will no doubt be hard at times but can be good.  littlehug1

 runningdog
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« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2012, 04:17:05 PM »

Thank you for the birthday wishes, means a lot. Xx

I'm trying to stay positive, but it's so hard. Yeah, I have applied to go to uni to do an MSc and I'm hoping I get a place. That might be really good for me. I loved doing my BSc. It's not the course I was originally planning on doing, but this one is in the local uni and they are supposed to be very good for student support and MH stuff.

Had relaxation this morning and told the STR worker about the restless legs. She spoke to CPN for me and CPN rang me this afternoon. Now have an appointment with psych tomorrow afternoon. Been told to bring all my medication with me. There is a chance my meds may be changed, or the dosage altered.

Feeling really sleepy this afternoon with having not much sleep last night. Been dozing on the sofa, but keep having very strange dreams.
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« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2012, 04:33:25 PM »

Good that you got appt with psych so quickly hopefully he'll be able to sort your meds so you can sleep better. Try not to doze too much this afternoon or could have trouble sleeping tonight.

Hope uni application is successful good that they are supportive with mh stuff.

Any plans for tonight? littlehug1

 runningdog
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« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2012, 07:18:36 PM »

Thanks Terrier littlehug1

No plans for tonight. Got some washing up to do and will play with the guinea. Got to remember to take my meds early and then try and get an early night. Slept a bit this afternoon, just couldn't stay awake. Still feeling tired though so hopefully will sleep tonight.

Yeah it is good I got a quick appointment with psych. I'm worried about the possibility of changing my meds tho. I've been pretty stable recently on current meds, haven't been in hospital since they got changed to these ones/doses.

I think my friend I stayed with in Aus has fallen out with me. I sent her a Facebook message ages ago and she never replied. Then she didn't send me any birthday messages or a card or anything. This is not like her. I've been racking my brains to think of anything I did wrong while I was out there, but I don't know what I could of done. Added to that is that other people seem to be ignoring me, and I feel like a totally worthless person. I must have done something wrong, I just don't know what.
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Terrier
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« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2012, 07:44:58 PM »

You probably haven't done anything wrong but you know how it is, sometimes people just forget. Try sending another message to your friend. You say others seem to be ignoring you. The words "seem to be" are key. Sometimes we make too much of things that happen, or don't happen, and stuff takes on more significance than it deserves. I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong, you just sound to be feeling a bit low and blaming yourself for things when theres nothing to worry about.

Hope you get meds sorted tomorrow, and sleep well.  littlehug1

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« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2012, 04:31:23 PM »

Well seen the psych today. He asked me to take all my medication in with me, which I thought was strange as he has prescribed it all so should know what I'm taking. Anyway took it in and he said "are you sure that's all you have" and I said yes, then he started quizzing me as to whether I had stockpiled any meds, which I haven't. Think he believed me in the end. So he has suggested I cut down on my oral AP to see if that helps with restless legs. I'm on the highest dose possible of my depot AP, so hopefully I will be ok with a bit less of the oral AP.

I'm missing my SW a lot at the moment. I like the new CPN but I haven't seen her properly for a couple of weeks and I used to see the SW every week. My support worker said they are missing her in the office too. Got a proper appointment with CPN next week.

Told psych I am struggling with bad thoughts after I see the psychologist and he said that is natural and I will feel worse before I feel better because I am processing difficult and painful thoughts and memories in the sessions.

I hope you're right that I haven't done anything wrong to upset people. I'm worried about sending my friend a message again incase she tells me I've done something to offend her, ignorance is bliss and all that.
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PrettyLittleLie
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« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2012, 04:48:47 PM »

So sorry things are so up and down for you right now ((hugs))

I don't have many words right now, but just want to say I am thinking of you and things with psychologists do get better- it is always hardest at first but once most of it is out in the open you can get down to trying to deal with the thoughts rather than just them exploring what the thoughts are with you.

((Hugs)).... things will get better... I hope today is going okay for you
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« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2012, 05:15:36 PM »

I hope the change in meds works for you hun xx

it'll take a while to settle with your new CPN and it's natural to miss your SW i think your doing really well coping without her xxx

xxx
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Terrier
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« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2012, 05:21:17 PM »

Sounds like appt with psych went well, hope his suggestion about meds does the trick. Don't have any experience with psychologists but PLL supports what psych said so with any luck things will get better.

Agree that ignorance is bliss, so long as that's how you really feel and aren't worrying about what you may have said or done.

Hope you have a good evening and a peaceful night.  littlehug1 littlehug2

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« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2012, 10:21:22 PM »

Thank you PLL, BG and Terrier xx

It tends to be the first few days after psychology appointments that are difficult. It's good to know that is natural and that it will get better, thanks for reassurance PLL. I was thinking of jacking it in, but I think I will try to persevere. If I want to go back to uni I need to be in a good place mentally, so hopefully by September the appointments will have started to help.

BG thanks for saying I'm doing well xx

Terrier, I don't know that I truely believe the ignorance is bliss thing, I am worrying about whether I've upset her. I don't know if I should message her or not. But she has upset me too by ignoring me, especially not acknowledging my birthday. She posted on her Facebook on my birthday and we have mutual friends that messaged me, so she must have known what day it was. It has upset me.

Xx
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