Yea, I think J feels lost with it all, I think it would be easier for him if it was simpler, if there was something practical he could do to make it better. But yea, it doesnt help the situation, and leaves me feeling hurt and uncared for.
Playing various games online to try to distract and calm down. Not sure that sleep is an option yet, feeling too wired and agitated.
Havent taken my AP yet, really dont want to. Its stupid, its a half dose that Ive agreed with my cc. I *know* that if things continue the way they are I will be signed off work again and then will be at even more risk. Logically, I know that taking the AP will help avoid that. So why cant I just do it?! Ridiculous

Going to try to set myself a time - that at 10pm, I will just go and take them, dont know if it will work.