Thank you both, your words and hugs mean a lot
I think fella may have an idea I'm not so good but I find it really hard to start any conversation about it. Part of me really wishes he'd ask, cos then I can answer without making it seem like a huge deal, which it would feel like if I brought it up.
You're probably right justine on it being better not being able to use my usual coping methods. I just feel a bit lost without them. I have a day alone today, trying to plan lots to keep busy til fella and boys return tonight.