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Author Topic: Bad person *sh ed*  (Read 2220 times)
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justine
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« Reply #20 on: April 10, 2012, 10:24:09 AM »

Just that I still do stupid things, like SH, that I'm consantly filled with doubts, that I'm just not enough.

All of that is down to low confidence in yourself. It's really crap to feel like that, but it's not true. Your head tells you it is, but that isn't how people see you  big hug
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If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new
mirrhi
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« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2012, 06:57:17 PM »

Just that I still do stupid things, like SH, that I'm consantly filled with doubts, that I'm just not enough.

All of that is down to low confidence in yourself. It's really crap to feel like that, but it's not true. Your head tells you it is, but that isn't how people see you  big hug

I find that really hard to believe though.  I know me better than anyone else so surely I know the truth - others only know what I let show.

I have a night to myself at my house tonight.  Part of me is really looking forward to peace and quiet, part of me is dreading it because it gives too much opportunity and chance to revert to *negative* behaviours.  I'm with fella tomorrow, but then have the weekend here as well which gives even more opportunity  Undecided  I don't know if I feel pleased or scared or what??

ED woman is back at work, she cam eback yesterday after 5 weeks off sick.  She's not emailed me yet though, stupid that I'm really wanting her to.  My last email to her was abit of a splurge...
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I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
mirrhi
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« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2012, 06:36:41 PM »

I can't believe how much weight I've put on.  I could see it but kept trying tp convince myself my view was 'distorted', but now I know I have.  The scales confirm it.
Horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible.
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I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
mirrhi
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« Reply #23 on: April 13, 2012, 09:05:51 PM »

Sorry, I know I keep bumping  rob's frying pan

ED woman hasn't emailed still.  I thought she might yesterday as Thursday was a regular day, but nothing.  I keep thinking of emailing her but what if my emails were part of why she went off sick?  What if my dumping on her, whingeing and moaning was triggering, iritating, annoying?  She's been through enough cr@p in her life without me adding more.

I wish I was strong enough to shut up.
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I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
mirrhi
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« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2012, 06:38:09 PM »

I'm so sorryy for bumping again.  Stupid cow, I don't know what to do though.  I want to stop dumping on people an dleaning on them and being so pathetic, but I just feel so alone right now.

I've just received an email from ED woman saying that her job descripiton has changed after being off sick and so she won't be giving email support any more.  That's it.  Gone.  I'm just sat here crying and can't stop.  Pathetic selfish irrelevant witch  rob's frying pan rob's frying pan rob's frying pan rob's frying pan rob's frying pan rob's frying pan
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I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
findingmyway
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« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2012, 06:41:45 PM »

please dont be sorry for posting, post as much as you need to littlehug1

Im sorry that the email support has been withdrawn - do you have other support that may be able to take its place?

Pathetic selfish irrelevant witch
You're not any of those things hun littlehug1

please keep talking xxx
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24th April - I can't pm so I hope everyone that has supported me can see this.

Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it. I am leaving the forum, didnt want to go without saying anything.

Please, all keep as safe as you can.

I will be thinking of you x littlehug1 :hug
Queen Lily
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« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2012, 06:42:35 PM »

im sure i posted on here on the 14th? im really confused now

as fmw said - post as much as you need to hun littlehug1

please keep talking x
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mirrhi
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« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2012, 06:50:45 PM »

Im sorry that the email support has been withdrawn - do you have other support that may be able to take its place?

No, that was the only thing I still had.  I can't attend the groups any more because I've moved.

im sure i posted on here on the 14th? im really confused now

Thank you Lily, just knowing that helps  littlehug1


I feel so pathetic though.  I suspected this was coming, she's struggled with ED and depression herself, has been off sick for 5 weeks, been back at work for 2 weeks but not emailed until tonight.  So if I suspected it why the F*** am I crying so much???
Logged

I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
mirrhi
18+
Usually here
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 4859



« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2012, 06:58:03 PM »

I'm scared.  Now I've started to cry it feels like the floodgates have opened and I only know one way to stop it.
Logged

I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...
findingmyway
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***
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Posts: 3800



« Reply #29 on: April 17, 2012, 07:00:40 PM »

littlehug1 littlehug1

Even if you suspected it might be coming hun its still a shock when it does

Keep talking to us. What distractions usually help for you? Even if its just for 10mins? xxx
Logged

24th April - I can't pm so I hope everyone that has supported me can see this.

Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it. I am leaving the forum, didnt want to go without saying anything.

Please, all keep as safe as you can.

I will be thinking of you x littlehug1 :hug
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