Nothing to lose **s/h**

[bernie]

The pizza and wine thing yes I know but he was trying to make a point that you don't have to have wine with pizza!! Had more wine last night not doing vg on the drinks this week. Birds are all husb. Chickens don't know one brown/russett one black. Usu die off after about 4 years but I am sure these have lasted longer. They have the run of our back garden though!!
Had a terrible nights sleep or lack of it. Hubby moved out to other room, we both have a tendancy to snore esp is been drinking!! was clock watching till after 4. Alarm went at 6.45 to get son up. He is able to do it himself (17) but sometimes forgets to put his alarm on. He gets a private bus to Wigan way? and if he misses it so would have to drive him takes about 45 mins. Was hoping to go back to bed but heavens opened this morning so offered to drive him to bus stop it is only around the corner but he would have got soaked. Still had my pyjama top on under coat!! By the time I came back was wide awake so have stayed up. Husb does his volunteering today. Usu have a nice day on my own but still have to do Appeal. I don't think I have done it right have emailed union waiting for them to come back to me. They won't be happy as I have quoted what they have said to me.

Have smart alcohol counselling this afternoon. Will feel a bit guilty going as everyone else has given up on the drink. Going to Substance misuse tommorrow.

[Lily Kym]

good luck for the counselling this afternoon

what do you need back from the Union? can you give them a call, hurry them along a little? xx

[bernie]

It was only for him to look at what I had done, he has not had any input in it. He doesn't like me much. Doesn't like that I was not in the Union. I used to be for 20 years when I was in Liverpool but they were very militant and always going on strike. I was one of the people who nearly got a redundancy notice from Derek Hatton in the 80's. I had some trouble in my last job and the Union were not helpful although I had paid my dues for 20 years.

Work have just sent another email. Meeting their solicitor tommorrow to hand over my papers.

Realised this morning that Appeal is next Thursday. Thought I had more time. Bricking it now.

Hubby not here my emotions are all over the place ;had to cut. Quite deep. Used steri's for the first time but still throbbing a bit and was still bleeding but not stopped. My husband will go mad will have to try and keep it from him. 

[Lily Kym]

 
if the bleeding hasn't stopped, you may need medical attention? can you get it looked at?

is no one advising you on the appeal stuff?

[bernie]

Hi been to alcohol course. Don't know whether I will go again. It is mostly for recovering alcoholics or drugs users. I know I drink but I don't think I am in that category yet and  they have all given up and I haven't I am cutting down. I am more worried about my mental health and s/h at the moment.
No, no one is really helping me re the Appeal. I have had to look on the web to get an example of a witness statement. The union does give me advice now and again but I emailed him before Easter and he has not come back to me. I was told by CAB that I could get the Union man in as a witness but when I suggested it he was not happy to do it. Said the previous cases were nothing to do with him. I'm not bothered really I know I won't win. The Court won't change the Council's judgement ie to sack me just cause they feel sorry for me they will only be looking at whether they did all the procedures correct, which technically they did ie held a disciplinary and Appeal hearing. The only thing I can get them on is lying about the other 2 previous cases which they say they haven't got the details of anymore. Don't know how the Court can prove that they do. And the union aren't playing ball either. The only reason I am following this thru now is that if I back out they may win costs against me and that could be at least a couple of thousand pounds for putting them thru the expense of having this Appeal.
The worst thing is though as far as I know the public can see the case so I am going to feel really bad and my self esteem even worse which is saying something as it is rock bottom now. Have to go as hubby due home.

[bernie]

Had a memo from work today re evidence. Thought it was the same as previous but they have added some documents and renumbered them so I have had to work out the new renumbering and change all my statement documentation numbers. Didn't want this today 

[bernie]

Had 2 glasses of wine last night. Not too bad but wasn't going to drink. Blame the Hairy Bikers. Hubby has interview today. £not too good but only 20 mins up the Road in Prescot. Hope he gets it, selfish really as it will take pressure off me. Have to see borough solicitor today. He seems to be 'friendly' but i think he is getting me under false pretences till he can 'tear me up' at the Courts next week. Self esteem is bad enough dont fancy being told I am a bad person who knew what she was doiing and making stories up about her health to get off. Feel as if I'm being victimised. I wish they would get the real baddies the benefit fraudsters who cheat, the council know they cheat but haven't got the resources to do anything. if they do get them in unless they cough to it they can't prosecute and if you are over 60 they usu don't prosecute as they don't like hte bad publicity.

[greenday]

ya its hard for me to i take med for sleep and some times they work and some times they dont work so life is realy dificult

[bernie]

Just been to acup. Not the usu person as he is off sick but another lady but all the needles fell out and we had to look for a missining one. which didn't help me to get to my substance misuse appt at 11 on time. However, say a lovely lady, didn't realise that the person I was seeing prev was not the person giving me the therapy. Aware of my s/h and very supportive. Had my eyes welling up a few times. Didn't cry though , and haven't done for the last 9 months anyway! She knew all about cbt and dbt so I think I will get on well with her. Seeing her next Wed day before Appeal. Says I am doing really well on cutting down. Husb still at interview have to go over to Huyton to see Borough Solicitor this afternoon. Not looking forward to it.

[bernie]

Been to see the solicitor. Went better than expected. He even advised me as a solicitor, which he didn't have to do. Thinks what I have done is ok. Still waiting to hear from Union.