It's all to much. (sh.ed.sui)

[rainbow]

Not needy at all, I think its perfectly reasonable to want support alongside meds 

How long have you been on them? The nausea might wear off once youve been on them for a while longer?

I was on flouexetine for just over a month, they made me reallllly anxious.
I was on mirtazapine for about a month, they helped me sleep which was ace! But I was very Sui.
Have been on citalopram for 2 weeks now, my GP and my friend who's a GP said the sickness should wear off soon.

I feel very needy, my friend said to me 'your getting there, albeit slowly, kicking and screaming and dragging your feet, but you are. Your doing what I did, you've been low for so long your scared of change' I dunno if that's right :s

Part of me is thinking to cut people off, I'll hurt less people then. I just hurt them, I'm needy and they don't like it. When it gets to much for them, I push them away before they push me away, I'm a horrible needy person.

[babylady]

I'm sure those that care about you will be mote hurt by you cutting yourself off hun,they want to help. Its so hard when you know you feel needy, especially as when that low it is hard to know or define what we actually need.
I think the that eating little will most likely be contributing to the sickness and definitely feeling faint and low energy and mood. I have an Ed so totally get that it is not so simple as just eating anything, but try and work out what foods you feel safe with and if you can eat little and often.  Honey is really good at boosting you up, used it a lot with exhausted labouring women! If you can't eat then maybe try an energy drink or shake?

Keep talking on here, cos we really do understand.  I'm off to try sleep now but will check in with you tomorrow. Big hugs.

[rainbow]

Thanks babylady
Yep, I feel 'needy' but I don't know what I need... It's hard.

Toast has always been a safe food for me. I don't feel hungry though. just feel like I'm going to be sick. I had an energy drink yesterday, and my manager gave me a lecture about how bad they are for you etc. food is a real issue at the moment, i don't want to eat I front of people. I don't really want to eat. It's control I guess? I find if I'm trying not to harm, I really control my food.

I'm really not sleeping well at the moment. Slept 12-3 then was wide awake. So put a film on, dozed back off til 7. I feel exhausted.

[babylady]

When I was in the EDU, it was often talked about that we 'store' our emotions in our tummy, wich can often make us feel full, when physically we are not.

Even if you just ate toast for the time being, just to get your energy levels up, that may help ease the nausea, help you think more clearly and even lift your mood a little.  It's not going to be a miracle cure, obviously, but even if it helps a little, that is good.

With the energy drinks, avoid the major caffienated ones like RedBull etc and go for the more glucose isotonic based ones like Lucozade, which help to restore a more natural balance of hydration.  Also, are you drinking enough water?  You may be dehydrated too, often if we neglect to eat, drinking fluids also gets forgotton. Dehyration plays havoc with physical health.

I know all this is easier said than done but please try hunny.

x

[rainbow]

Thanks for being so kind

I'm just walking to tesco to try get food. But the thoughts making me feel very sick. And my heads saying I don't need it. I'm going to get a drink tho because I think I'm dehidrated.

I don't feel mentally well at all.

[babylady]

Don't think about it as 'commiting to eating' full stop.  Just deal with the here and now and eating a bit just to stop the nausea and aid your mental health, it will make you feel physically and mentally better.  Tomorrow, you deal with tomorrow.  1 step at a time, 1 day at a time or even just the next 10 minutes, whatever helps you to get through, and keep talking on here.  Maybe look at the posh prepared fruit, safe to eat and nice and cooling on a warm day and full of vitamins with none of the scarey stuff.

 

[rainbow]

I had some cous cous and ice tea. Don't feel so faint now. Still feel a bit sick. :\

Towns so busy today, tesco was packed. It was horrible.

Really want to cut. But can't until after swimming tomorow. Going to a staff meal thing tonight as its my bosses retairment do. I really don't want to eat again. I'm sorry. I really am.

[babylady]

Don't be sorry, you are unwell and did not ask to be in this situation.

Really well done on the couscous and I'm glad you don't feel so faint.  Just go for a small dish tonight.

try not to think about tomorrow and the need to SH, just do a small amount of time at a time.  Have you tried using alternatives like elastic bands and ice cubes?  To me those options sounded so silly, but I gave it a go and it sometimes does work, especially when you are 'biding time'.

[rainbow]

Don't be sorry, you are unwell and did not ask to be in this situation.

Really well done on the couscous and I'm glad you don't feel so faint.  Just go for a small dish tonight.

try not to think about tomorrow and the need to SH, just do a small amount of time at a time.  Have you tried using alternatives like elastic bands and ice cubes?  To me those options sounded so silly, but I gave it a go and it sometimes does work, especially when you are 'biding time'.

Thanks Hun. It was a buffet so I had a little bit. Was so emotional tonight G is amazing, she gave me my job, she believed in me when I didn't. She came over to me gave me the hugest hug and said 'do you know what your doing? And where your going. Yes? Keep your head on that shoulders missy and stay strong, you can do it I know you can. Thank you for everything.' then she kissed me on the head. I thanked her for everrrrything and was balling my eyes out. N gave me a hug and told me not to cry. I can't explain how I feel. Numb I guess?

I have elastic bands yes, I really need to cut tho.

[babylady]

You do seem to have a lot on your plate and tonight sounds like it was really difficult, but you made it through and ate, well done. Crying is good, locking in tears is never helpful and I think that once we are labelled with mental health issues we tend to think of all emotions as being s result of that. But crying at a farewell and saying goodbyes is an emotional event in anybodies world, and it is totally normal reaction. I also think that after an emotional event where you have let your emotions be released, it is quite normal to feel numb. That kind of experience is mentally exhausting. You just need to allow yourself to be now.  Try and have a light snack and settle yourself down to sleep. Night night and big hugs. X