It's all to much. (sh.ed.sui)

[rainbow]

It's to much. I can't do it anymore. Foods becoming an issue. Eating a chore. I eat I just feel sick. My apatite is messed up. I really need to cut. But I'm swimming Friday. With work. So. Can't.

I have a drs appt at 9.20 this morning, so I'm going to be late for work, my manager is ok with it because she wants me to see my GP, but I'm panicking, I hate hate hate being late.

I haven't spoke to anybody for about a month now as counsellor has been off. I'm really struggling. I want to die. I can't think of any other way to stop all this.

It's gone on to long. I don't know what else to do.

I'm sorry.

[rainbow]

  just been to see my GP, she has given me a months meds, and the (wise) words of 'you just need to be positive'

That was the wrong sentence to say to me, she sounded just like my mother. I thought see would understand, obviously not... *sighs* I feel crap. My heads such a wreck. Nobody understands, they pretend they do. But they don't.

[rainbow]

Talking to myself I know but

I feel so sick. Gp said it'll settle. But its getting to me. Feeling sick stresses me out. I'm hardly eating. Reallly struggling not to cut. My eyes are really sensitive to the sun which is odd.

I need to walk to dog. But. I feel like I'm gonna puke!!!

[Terrier]

Hi Hun, sorry you feel so rough at the moment, shame gp wasn't any more helpful. Do you know why you are feeling sick, is it as side effect from meds?

Hope you start feeling better soon. 

 

[terrified heart]

When is your appointment with CMHT Hun? Hopefully they will be able to offer you more support. Sorry you are struggling. Keep posting 
Xx

[yrangelion]

Sorry to hear you're struggling...keep posting, I can't say I can help but I can listen!
Take care! 
x x

[rainbow]

Thanks for reply

My appt with CMHT is on the 11th.

Sickness is a side effect of the meds I think.

I just walked the dog around the block, couldn't go to far as I felt like I was gonna faint. Am home now.

My head feel so intense. Like its going to explode.

I feel guilty. Guilty for needing support. Mum says in wasteing their time. P says I should just stop the meds, and I don't need them. Mum says the meds are stupid.

[findingmyway]

Im sorry theyre being so unsupportive lovely

How do you feel about the meds? Thats the most important thing xxx

[rainbow]

I hate that they are making me feel sick, since starting the meds it's been such a rollercouster ride! With them chopping and changing. If they are going to help once in my system, that's great. but, I feel I need support alongside that. How needy is that? Stupid needy rainbow. :/

[findingmyway]

Not needy at all, I think its perfectly reasonable to want support alongside meds 

How long have you been on them? The nausea might wear off once youve been on them for a while longer?