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Author Topic: how do I explain...  (Read 829 times)
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Julie42
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« on: March 21, 2012, 11:07:12 PM »

daughter is now out of hospital and hopefully on the road to recovery.

She has decided she wants to go swimming and also wear short sleeves which is not a problem and I'm pleased she feels she can cope with that but her arms are a mass of scars and I mean hundreds.What is the best way to talk to her 2 younger brothers who are 9 & 11 about them as although they know about the depression I have never told them about the sh and don't want to scare them.Any advice would be gratefully accepted.
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justine
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« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2012, 08:51:50 AM »

hmm thats a bit of a tricky one, because you don't want them trying it out of curiosity, and you don't want your daughter feeling bad if they do. Also not a good idea to try and stop your daughter from swimming. I'm no expert in this, but how about something like;

"you know (daughter) has been sick for a while, well she hurt herself while she was sick, and she has some scars from it. She is ok and getting better now though, so don't worry if you see any, ok"

Something like that perhaps? and obviously make sure you answer any questions they have. And as much as it feels you should shelter and protect children, honesty is usually the best policy, as they often find out at least some of the truth for themselves
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If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new
greenday
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« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2012, 09:14:33 AM »

ya dont woory to much its going to be all right im here to seport u be happy  littlehug1 swirlguin
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howling
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« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2012, 06:39:30 PM »

hi its great your daughter is home, i agree with everything Justine said. i told my 13 yr old about mine as i cant always keep them hidden. and my 4 yr old asked once, i just said i hurt myself and she was happy with that. i think honesty is the best policy. if your sons question the scars then give them a simple answer but not overload them with the ins and outs. most children i find are happy with one answer and ask on a when they want to know basis. hope all goes well for you. and i do understand how you feel when she goes into her bedroom. can you perhaps tell her how scared it makes you feel and maybe come to a compromise about the door staying open.
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Julie42
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« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2012, 09:03:36 PM »

hmm thats a bit of a tricky one, because you don't want them trying it out of curiosity, and you don't want your daughter feeling bad if they do. Also not a good idea to try and stop your daughter from swimming. I'm no expert in this, but how about something like;

"you know (daughter) has been sick for a while, well she hurt herself while she was sick, and she has some scars from it. She is ok and getting better now though, so don't worry if you see any, ok"

Something like that perhaps? and obviously make sure you answer any questions they have. And as much as it feels you should shelter and protect children, honesty is usually the best policy, as they often find out at least some of the truth for themselves


that was exactly how I dealt with it and to be honest they didn't bat an eyelid.... pity other people aren't so understanding.... whilst she was at work he sleeve rode up a little and a woman saw them and moved her daughter away saying you don't want to catch anything Undecided daughter dealt with it well and I guess its going to be something she will have to deal with
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shortcake74
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« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2012, 09:40:10 PM »

Hi, the ignorance of other people is really unhelpful. My daughter worries About people seeing her marks and is very self conscious at the moment, she doesnt even like her dad seeing them. I'm glad that your daughter was able to deal with it and I'm sure in time my daughter will be able to do the same Smiley
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shortcake74
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« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2012, 09:42:10 PM »

Hi, the ignorance of other people is really unhelpful. My daughter worries About people seeing her marks and is very self conscious at the moment, she doesnt even like her dad seeing them. I'm glad that your daughter was able to deal with it and I'm sure in time my daughter will be able to do the same Smiley
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justine
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« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2012, 09:43:32 PM »

I'm glad they took it well. Young kids tend to be very accepting of others. I'm afriad then they learn to judge people from others, and it spreads like some sort of plague, and everyone judges. I'm glad your daughter took it well though, that's a good sign.  big hug
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If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new
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