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Author Topic: How deep does it have to be? TRIG SH  (Read 1624 times)
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Dragonfly
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« on: March 21, 2012, 02:09:48 AM »

 

Hey, sorry for this, but just wondered if anyone has similar/different experiences.

Recently been re-disgnosed with depression after a year free. I live alone, and flagged this up myself, taking myself to a new GP (having moved last year). I told her about my SH which has started again (after several months of not harming). I had written everythign down cos I was crying too much to talk. SHe asked if I wanted to show her, but I couldn't that day. Anyway I went again two weeks later and showed her the cuts on my arm. She just said. ok, so they're only superficial, and basically was like, oh well that's nothing serious and doesn't really matter. While I appreciate her not making ahuge fuss, I kinda feel like she was too dismissive and noww I keep thinking, well, do you want somethign 'more serious' to look at? And it's really triggering me. Hmph. Trying to do the right thing and get help but frankly wishing I'd kept quiet and could just destroy myself quietly.

Sorry.

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5u2
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« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2012, 02:23:50 AM »

Hey.
I had a similar experience with my gp. I think as long as it's not serious damage- ie needing stitches etc, they don't make a fuss. Probably more to make you feel better. I would think that any self harm is serious mental health wise but as long as you don't need medical attention for it, they focus more on the underlying issues, ie, depression etc.
Hope this helps!
Xxx
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xxxSuZyxxx
Dragonfly
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« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2012, 02:32:10 AM »

Thanks 5u2, reading your reply, it does make sense. I'm seeing the CMH chap tomorrow, maybe I should ask him? Or tell him how I feel about it. Or just keep quiet. I know that hoping it'll all jusst go away doesn't work.

Thanks for taking the time to reply - feel less alone in all this.
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yrangelion
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« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2012, 08:11:02 AM »

I can see why you'd be triggered...hope you're ok!!

I hope you get the support you deserve! Sorry not many words but thinking of you!!
x
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findingmyway
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« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2012, 08:20:04 AM »

Im sorry that you felt the GP was being dismissive - I think sometimes they dont handle sh and mh stuff properly (due to lack of experience/education about it I think).

Talking it through with the CMHT guy is a good idea, might help just to get it out and talk it through with someone. littlehug1

xxx
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24th April - I can't pm so I hope everyone that has supported me can see this.

Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it. I am leaving the forum, didnt want to go without saying anything.

Please, all keep as safe as you can.

I will be thinking of you x littlehug1 :hug
5u2
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« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2012, 03:30:51 PM »

Hey.
Yeah, discussing it with CMHT will probably make you feel better about it.
I do think they are focussing on your mental health, rather than the physical cuts. Because if you cut yourself accidentally, it would take a lot for you to go to the drs or hospital with it, as a cut is easily dealt with at home. I think that's what your dr meant when she said it wasn't serious.
x
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xxxSuZyxxx
Dragonfly
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« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2012, 05:24:52 PM »

Thanks so much for your replies.

*Warning - rant!*

Just back from CHMN appointment and balling my eyes out. WTF was that???? He just rambled at me for an hour. Asked me a couple of questions but didn't really follow them up and at the end said, well you could have counselling with the practice counsellor or CBT, but the gp has to refer you, I'll give you some information about depression and you can come back in a months time, we'll see how you're feeling then and if you think you want anything else.

I'm no expert but based on the good counselling I've been lucky enough to have had in the past, I could have done it better myself. Another chuffing handout on depression? I could write a book, I'm an expert already! I'm severely depressed with strong suicidal thoughts - don't ask me what I want - I want to die, numbskull! I could have driven my car into a wall on teh way home I was so furious and felt useless and all I could hear in my head was "what's the point? there is no point". So that's all got me freaked out and now I think maybe I shouldn't drive. I've promised my guinea pig that I'll only drive when I feel properly calm.

Going to get emergeny dr appointment in the morning and get them to sign me off work fully (am on half hours now) then maybe if I sleep for a week I'll feel a bit better.

Sorry ranty and rambly all at once.

Going to make a nice cup of tea to distract.

Uh. Sigh.

Sorry all this.
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Patient Pianist
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« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2012, 02:01:07 AM »

 littlehug2
logically i think that maybe Dr's dont make such an immediate fuss about superficial wounds.  however i agree that when they say it like that it feels incredibly dismissive and almost as though its not really worth bothering about.... i also think that in the place we are at that point, speaking from my experience only i tend to react very impulsively and negatively.... but i know its not easy.

as for the other guy, is there anyway you can speak to your Dr, make sure you get the referral and maybe just find out if there is anyone else you could talk to, you're entitled to a second opinion.

 littlehug1
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Reeta
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« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2012, 02:23:30 AM »

I think its the automatic response of all drs to say self harming cuts are superficial, I remember once I attended A&E to get stitched up and was told that it was a superficial wound as the dr was giving me internal stitches...

I know its hard, especially when you are already in that place but try not to take it to heart.
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Dragonfly
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« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2012, 05:19:04 PM »

Thank you Smiley

Reeta - that is terrible! What a thing to say. Hope you're ok now.

Well, managed to calm down and kept safe - yaay. Went to on call gp this morning, had to wait ages, was climbing up the walls, trying not to cry, loads of people staring at the snivelly girl in the corner *shudder* anyway, am now signed off work. Phew, and crap all at once. Is always hard to admit defeat. But hopefully can use the space to get to a more positive place. Got appt for normal gp in a couple of weeks and will ask for referral to counsellor I think.

Had a good long chat with Mum which was mostly helpful, sort of skipped over the SH as it's the only thing she really doesn't understand. She said "I assume the sh hasn't started again" and Ijust said "err, that's not a good assumption to make" and she said "oh no" and we carried on with the other stuff. It's so awkward to discuss with people that care about you who have no experience of it isn't it?  THere's a group in my town for women with SH issues, I might try to go along to that some time, but sounds too scary atm.

Brain is completely fryed but wierdly a bit stiller this afternoon so am gonna have a mug amnesty (haven't done much washing up lately - oops) and maybe paint my nails and just try to not think about all this stuff for a while.

Thanks for taking the trouble to write back.
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I see your true colours shining through
I see your true colours, that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours, true colours are beautiful
Like a rainbow
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