sorry in advance about the long post i just need a rant and need to get all this out my system and realy really need help and advice please.
my granddad (dads dad) died of lung cancer 2 years ago now, quite suddenly, didnt expect it at all. since this my dad has gone downhill mentally, but we have only just realised how much it affected him. For the past month my mom and dad have been having marriage problems, i found out a week ago that my dad had been seeing another woman, kissing cuddling and meeting for drinks but he swears it hasnt gone any further than that. the woman he was seeing was a family friend to make matters worse, and she was also married but was having marriage problems and my dad was there as the shoulder to cry on at first but things went too far. They were seeing each other for a month, mom knew they had kissed once and she forgave dad but he still carried on seeing her and lied to my mom, she found out as he was txting her one day and he wouldnt tell her who it was. Then he confessed everything. My mom beat my dad up badly and my younger 17 year old sister had to break them up as i was at work at the time.
Dad is completly cut up about what he has done, he cant believe that he was capable of doing something like this to my mom, theyve been married for 28 years, had the perfect marriage, weve always been a close steady family nothing like this has ever happened before and it all feels broken up now. mom has said she isnt going to divorce dad they are going to work through it. but im not sure if things will ever be the same again....
Dad has definatly got depression, he said he feels numb, dosent enjoy life, has no feeling and feels like hes not living. All of this i can relate to as i had bad depression a few years ago and iv been on medication for 4 years, alot of people in my dads family have depression so i think its genetic. Its like talking to a brick wall at the minute, he just sits there with a empty expression and its breaking my heart. Im crying as writing this as iv never had anything like this happen before, we were always the perfect family and were brought up well. Dad wont go to the doctors as he says hes 'fine', he wont speak to family members, his phone is off, he wont answer house phone and he dosent answer the door. Its killing me inside iv always been so close to my dad but im trying to stay strong for my mom as shes so angry and upset about whats happened.
How do i deal with this? I really think he needs professional help, but what do you do when someone refuses to go to the doctors?
when i was realy depressed he made me go, but now he wont go himself.
I want him to enjoy having his first granddaughter born but i feel like hes going to be oblivious to it. I need him there for me as im petrified but i feel like i havent got a dad anymore, as if hes died almost.
Iv got no-one to talk to about this as my mom dosent want me telling anyone as shes embarassed about it all.
Im not very good at expressing my feelings to my dad, i cant do it without bursting into tears and then not saying what i really need to say.
im 6 and a half months pregnant and this is so hard to deal with when im emotional anyway. My OH has been there for me but he dosent fully understand how hard it is to deal with as its not his dad.
Any help or advice much appreciated as i feel as if im at breaking point...
sorry about long thread