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Author Topic: At what point do you consider suggesting admission as an inpatient?  (Read 1532 times)
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Ms Gadget
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« on: April 09, 2011, 02:12:54 AM »

I joined this forum 3.5 years ago and am very grateful for the advice received back then. However.......I would say that the advice I wanted was aimed at what could be causing my son to self harm, how I cope with his self harming, how I can best support him, and how I deal with the feelings of self-recrimination.
What has helped me to deal with my emotions was knowing the 3 CísÖ..I didnít cause it, canít change it and canít cure it. Taking in these 3 Cís has wiped the self blame away and cleared my mind of the all encompassing feeling of failure as a parent. I could get on with supporting him as best as possible without breaking down in tears, which then didnít help him.
I gave this site info to him in the hope that he would seek it out for support but he says that he hasn't.
So here I am a few years down the line and my son is still self-harming, though in a more deliberate way, to deal with situations/emotions that he still can't deal with.
He has been under CAMHS, (now FACT I believe!), but has now turned 18, (Nov 2010), and is under the adult mental health team for depression. He was on Citalopram for the depression but he seems to have stopped taking them.
In addition to the original ADHD, he has also been diagnosed with Aspergers and this means that he finds life in general difficult to cope with but he doesn't want to engage with any support that I arrange because he has a thing about just how many 'people' I have arranged for him to see over the last 5 years. He has a care co-ordinator who has been unable to engage with him more than twice since January, and then only because we were able to get him there. I now have intervened and made an appointment to take him to next week.
Today he self-harmed again and made no secret of it, there was a heavy fresh wet blood stain on his jeans but he wouldn't show me the actual injury which was on his wrist.
I am now wondering whether he needs a spell as an inpatient to take him out of his normal life, away from the daily stresses, somewhere safe where he can learn new coping strategies in a safe environment. A sort of ĎTime-outí period.
I had hoped to help to get him living independently because itís what he would like but I really donít think he could cope with all the responsibilities if he canít even cope at home here.
Whatever I am doing isn't and hasn't helped him to learn how to cope and I donít know what else to do.
How have other parents approached the prospect of Ďinpatientí time? Ö.And how do I go about introducing the subject with my son? Ö.OhÖ.and what are the chances of this happening in any case?  What with government cutbacks and community care etcÖ
Thanks for readingÖ
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« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2011, 09:46:01 AM »

Firstly, you sound like an amazing mum who is doing everything she can to support her son.

As for the inpatient admission - unless your son is a very severe, immediate risk to himself or others it is very unlikely he will get admitted to a psych ward. Because of the 'community care' stuff, inpatient admissions are hard to get.

Hopefully the appoinment with his care co-ordinator will be a helpful and productive one - maybe there you could ask for some more support for him? ANd what the options might be?

Hope it goes well

Take care x
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wabbit
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« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2011, 10:12:14 AM »

In my experience an inpatient admission, unless to a specilalist service like a therapuetic community, is more about immediate safety and containment rather than learning coping skills.  It can be noisy and sometimes quite scary with people with all kinds of illnesses, some of who are very unwell, from what you have said I think it could be quite distressing foir your son.

Could you find out if there any day hospitals where you are?  He would probably learn more coping skills in that kind of environment.  Perhaps speak to his care coordinator if he is willing for you to do this and see what is available within the community.

If you and he do feel an inpatient admission is the best option he would most likely need to be assessed by a psychiatrist first.  The move now is to keeo inpatient admissions as short as possible, sometimes just a few days.
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Jewel
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« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2011, 10:13:22 AM »

I agree with Struggling, you do sound like a great mum..

tbh inpatient admission is horrible... the staff don't have time for therapy etc you are literally just there to stop you causing serious injury to you or someone else.. self harm still happens in hospital and infact i think i learnt a few tricks along the way as well!!

I know that is only my experience and it may differ in different areas, but personally I found it suffocating and not very helpful (apart from keeping me alive)...

I'm not sure what else to suggest though, it's a shame he can't see the care coordinator more. maybe you could discuss help from a crisis team/more help from the CMHT?
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« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2011, 12:55:46 PM »

I just want to second what Nightowl has said really.

I forgot to mention in my post that what my care co-ordintor and CPN's have always told me that rather than helping you learn coping mechanisms/recieve therapy in a psych hospital, all it really does is 'hold' you - stops you doing yourself or others serious harm but doesnt actually really help you move on.

I attend a day hospital one morning a week and whilst it has been difficult for me, it has also been REALLY helpful in helping me to gain new coping skills/mechanisms to deal with my anxiety and impulsive thoughts around self harm.

Personally, I think day hospitals are such useful services and from what I have heard from various sources, they are much more useful in helping people to learn coping mechanisms and to move on, than hospital admissions are.

xx

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wabbit
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« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2011, 06:49:33 AM »

try ur local connexions they have helped me alot i have been seeing my adviser for a year now, he come 2 opontments with me    , offters extra support and keeps an eye on me so when i feel worse i get the support i need. What i also find helpful about a connextion adviser is that u can txt them so if u r having a bad u dont just have to wate for ur next opontment.

U sound like ur doing a good job x x x x
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Ms Gadget
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« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2011, 10:24:18 PM »


I wondered what the criteria might be for admissions. I've heard of families paying privately but that isn't an option for us. We'll just see what happens on Wednesday. I hope that she at least will have something in mind for him. Thanks for your reply.
Firstly, you sound like an amazing mum who is doing everything she can to support her son.

As for the inpatient admission - unless your son is a very severe, immediate risk to himself or others it is very unlikely he will get admitted to a psych ward. Because of the 'community care' stuff, inpatient admissions are hard to get.

Hopefully the appoinment with his care co-ordinator will be a helpful and productive one - maybe there you could ask for some more support for him? ANd what the options might be?

Hope it goes well

Take care x

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Ms Gadget
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2011, 10:26:04 PM »

Thanks Nightowl, sounds like it might not be somewhere he would want to be anyway.
In my experience an inpatient admission, unless to a specilalist service like a therapuetic community, is more about immediate safety and containment rather than learning coping skills.  It can be noisy and sometimes quite scary with people with all kinds of illnesses, some of who are very unwell, from what you have said I think it could be quite distressing foir your son.

Could you find out if there any day hospitals where you are?  He would probably learn more coping skills in that kind of environment.  Perhaps speak to his care coordinator if he is willing for you to do this and see what is available within the community.

If you and he do feel an inpatient admission is the best option he would most likely need to be assessed by a psychiatrist first.  The move now is to keeo inpatient admissions as short as possible, sometimes just a few days.
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Ms Gadget
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« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2011, 10:34:32 PM »

Apparently we can ask for a different care co-ordinator if we aren't happy with the actions of this one. Certainly we haven't had a chance to get to settle with her, and anyway she has not really wanted to involve me until recently because my son is over 18. She doesn't have experience of Aspergers either which doesn't help her to understand the need for me to be involved to. I am going to ask for more help and see what she comes up with.
I suppose being an inpatient is a bit like when people go to prison....they pick up tricks of the trade to use when they get out if they intend to continue their criminal activities. In hospitals people pick up different ways of doing whatever it is that they intend to continue on the outside. that definitely is not what I naively hoped for. Thanks for your input bluegem.

I agree with Struggling, you do sound like a great mum..

tbh inpatient admission is horrible... the staff don't have time for therapy etc you are literally just there to stop you causing serious injury to you or someone else.. self harm still happens in hospital and infact i think i learnt a few tricks along the way as well!!

I know that is only my experience and it may differ in different areas, but personally I found it suffocating and not very helpful (apart from keeping me alive)...

I'm not sure what else to suggest though, it's a shame he can't see the care coordinator more. maybe you could discuss help from a crisis team/more help from the CMHT?
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Ms Gadget
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2011, 10:36:11 PM »

Struggling, I'll ask about the day hospital and see what is available, thanks

I just want to second what Nightowl has said really.

I forgot to mention in my post that what my care co-ordintor and CPN's have always told me that rather than helping you learn coping mechanisms/recieve therapy in a psych hospital, all it really does is 'hold' you - stops you doing yourself or others serious harm but doesnt actually really help you move on.

I attend a day hospital one morning a week and whilst it has been difficult for me, it has also been REALLY helpful in helping me to gain new coping skills/mechanisms to deal with my anxiety and impulsive thoughts around self harm.

Personally, I think day hospitals are such useful services and from what I have heard from various sources, they are much more useful in helping people to learn coping mechanisms and to move on, than hospital admissions are.

xx


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