New to this

[lett66]

I have recently just found out my daughter is self harming. Four weeks ago I was on holiday with my husband my daughter was on her holiday aboard seeing an old school friend when out of the blue she rings me and says she wants to go and live in Benidorm ( at this time I didn't know about the self harming) I wasn't happy about it but said if that's what she wanted i would help her get stuff sorted then a couple of days later she rang again crying saying her nan was very poorly and then a few days after that we came home I went to see her and she was very upset and showed me her arms I was so shocked I didn't react very well which I'm sure didn't help her but I thought it was a one off how wrong i was it has just got worse I didn't know what to do where to go for help so we went to the doctors and we were referred to our local hospital to see a member of the crisis team I was so scared so god knows what my daughter was feeling. The lady at the hospital was great but listening to my daughter was very upsetting I really didn't know what was happening in her life and I thought we were close and that she didn't keep secrets from me.
We were offered treatment at home via the crisis team and also a appointment with a councilor and the consultant we went to both and my daughter has a impulsive personality disorder and mild depression.
Since the hospital visits she hasn't had much contact with the hospital or the crisis team which doesn't mean she hasn't needed them. The self harming has carried on and has got worse as she has harmt herself with cigarettes,cut her arms,scratched her arms and legs.
I am so scared where it will end will it get worse.She is on my mind all of the time I'm not sleeping for fear i wont here the phone as she has said she would ring me if she thought she was going to harm herself it feels like some one has taken my beautiful daughter and replaced her with this other person wheres my daughter gone.
We talk lot during the day as I have to ring her a lot to make sure she is OK she knows that I'm there for her but who's there for me I'm not taken this very William sorry if this upsets any one i just need some help 

[billy]

 

it sounds like u r being a grate help to her. x x xx x i think ur doing a grate job x x x  x xx x x

does ur huspand know? does he support u? could u ask ur gp for some support? 

im hear to listen x x x x xx

[willow]

i think it's so good that your daughter felt that she was able to tell you what has been happening for her and how she feels. it sounds like you have been such a great support to her , and she is very lucky to have someone watching out for her and being there in a non-judgemental way when she's not feeling great. Like Billy said, maybe it would help you to find someone who you can talk to irl (in real life)? There are also some really useful tools on here, i'm just getting to know the site... but i'll try to attach some links in a mo. x

[willow]

I have no idea how to link the two posts that i was thinking of sorry... but they are both in this 'friends & family' section, one is called '3 Cs' and the other is called 'how you can help someone who is self harming'.

i hope that you manage to find some support on here / irl... i'm sorry i don't have anything more helpful to say. but i think that it's great you're being a rock to your daughter, just try to look after yourself too. x

[Lynne]

Hi I'm quite new to this myself but I can empathise with u totally.  When I found out about my daughter sh I felt exactly the same, I was questioning everything.  All I know is that its good that your daughter has confided in u and that u have managed to get professional help for her. Just remember that she is still your beautiful daughter and do what u're doin by letting her know that u r there for her.  I know its hard to find people to talk to about sh but I found that posting on here helped me a great deal because neither me or my daughter were being judged and I could ask about anything I was unsure of.  As Mums we worry about our kids all the time but try not to let this take over your life and try and keep yourself well.  I am still taking things a day at a time and I'm certainly no expert but u're doin a great job by supporting her through this.

Take Care
Lynne 

[lett66]

Thank you all this has  helped me just by being able to talk to some one as every one i know just thinks its an attention thing and not a problem its just so hard to understand its all so confusing i do have a question i was thinking of getting a distraction box but I'm at loss as what to put in it any ideas would be great

[billy]

i find an elastice band to ping around my wirst is good, ice cudes are good tho u cant put them in a box   i find (but im strange) doing maths helps me cos maths is heard and i cant think of and think but the maths im trying to do. a red felt pen or lip sitck so she can draw on her self when she want to self hearm. red food clouring to put in the ice cudes. mabe a coshion or pillow to punch or scream into. and plastic bottle to cut up. a diary so she can write things down or draw.  

  cant think of anything else atm.

sorry if thats no help or they are silly sugestions  x x x x x

Love Billy x x x x

[willow]

i haven't done mine yet but other people have mentioned... colouring books, a stress ball, beads and thread to make necklaces... i might put some pictures in mine which remind me of happy times. x