Author Topic: What should i say?  (Read 1706 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline cassie

  • 18+
  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 120
What should i say?
« on: April 19, 2010, 08:21:20 PM »
I think a friend of mine has started cutting again.
When I met her nearly a year ago she had a lot of old scars on her arm but nothing that looked less than about a year old (they were healed). I know she has depression as she talks quite openly about it but I have never heard her discuss her sh so I didn't feel the need to approach it as I thought she was past it all and so it wasn't necessary to bring it all back up.
However about 3 weeks ago I noticed she had a new scratch in her arm. I didn't think much of it although I did wonder but I didn't want to ask her about it for fear of upsetting or annoying her as it doesn't look like her old scars so it could still be nothing. But then she came in today after a 2 week holiday with a cut just like her old scars across her wrist. As a sh-er myself I'm really worried about her but I don't know if I should approach her because we're not particularly close and I don't want to offend her. If I were to approach her though how should I do it?
I hope some of that makes sense.
smile

Offline adriana

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 3124
Re: What should i say?
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2010, 08:24:58 PM »
You could just ask if everything's OK. If she doesn't want to talk about, that's up to her, but if you give her the opportunity and let her know you're around, she knows she has the option. Does she know you sh?

Offline cassie

  • 18+
  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 120
Re: What should i say?
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2010, 08:52:10 PM »
She doesn't know I sh that i'm aware of. I keep it hidden by avoiding my arms so people i don't want to know can't find out. I'm not sure enough of her personality yet to know if it would be a good idea to tell her cos i haven't known her that long and only really see her at college, so i haven't told her.
I'll let her know i'm there for her though and then at least she knows. Thanks for replying. It helped a lot  :)
smile

Offline smile

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 1487
  • boo!
Re: What should i say?
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2010, 06:38:16 PM »
As a self harmer yourself you will see her SH from a different angle to most people, despite the fact that your reasons may be completely different. Let her know you're there for her, and she can talk to you, just treat her SH as you would wish your own to be treated.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - Goerge Bernard Shaw
 
http://www.girleffect.org/

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. - Marie Curie

Offline billy

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 8124
  • save a life love an emo kid!
Re: What should i say?
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2010, 05:53:15 PM »
 :1059: :1059: :1059:

it sounds like ur being a really good friend  :) :1059:
"evrything can be recycled except time!"

"evrything will be ok in the end
if its not ok
its not the end!"

"remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?"

wendee

  • Guest
Re: What should i say?
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2010, 10:56:52 PM »
What a great friend you are!
Maybe you could just chat about life, love etc and see if you can notice what is worrying your friend, then take it from there. Best of luck x