Feels like i am loosing it *sh trig*

[CharlieCash]

Thanks for your words Nixie they mean alot doing everything i can but it just doesnt feel like enough. She sees a counsellor once aweek and yes i know what the trauma is it took her months to tell me but she did so at least she did that she cant talk about it in detail which is ok i get that, still hard though. x

[lizzy]

Hi Charlie,
it sounds as if you are having a really difficult time. My daughter does the pushing away thing which we all recognise and understand, but it doesn't stop it being so hard to deal with - we have emotions too. When you are stretched to the limit with worry and concern it is hard to offer what they need. I don't know how many times I have told my daughter I love her no matter what and she's told me she doesn't understand how I can. Once you've taken the arrow out of your heart , ( which takes 20 seconds ), you go on being the best mum you can be.

Have you, has she considered being an inpatient?

I was terrified and shocked when my daughter became an inpatient but I am slowly beginning to see it was the right choice.

remember we're all here to listen if you need to share your thoughts.

[Nixie]

Thats ok
If you are doing everything you can then your doing your best. I was told that as long as you do youre best then thats what matters.
I cant imagine what it must be like for you as a mother but you clearly love and care for her loads. Hopefully the counselling will gradually help her, things do go up and down but hopefully things will start going up again soon.
Im glad she has managed to tell you what the trauma is. Im sorry Im not much more help
xXx

[lizzy]

Yes Nixie you're right, we can only do our best.

You are doing that, she is so lucky to have a Mm who cares so much. Keep doing just as you are, loving caring and listening, but remember to keep yourself in mind too
Big Hugs.

[CharlieCash]

Thanks guys you are so kind. Arrow to the heart i can relate to that alot. She told me about the trauma but wont talk about it since i know she cant and thats ok it has to be in her time however, the trauma was SA by someone she thought was her friend, some friend! so i have alot of anger to deal with over that when someone hurts your child that way well i have never wished anyone dead but i have now im afraid not proud of that but cant help the way i feel. She is amazing and to be honest after what has happened i cant blame her for the way she feels. 

[CharlieCash]

sorry forgot to say yes she has considered being an inpatient but has not happened yet i just want her to feel loved and safe like we all do with our kids.

[billy]

 

hi this is crap advise and im srue it has been sed but could u tell her talk to doent matter what happens of what she does u will always love her and be there for her.

u are doing a really grate job  

love billy

[CharlieCash]

Thanks Babe and its good advice because at the end of the day its all we can do is reassure our loved ones we are there and we love them its my anger that i struggle with really its like wanting someone to be punished for what they did but there is nothing you can do about it

[billy]

 

do u think it would help if u told her this?

sorry if its a stupid idea

[lizzy]

You have some powerful emotions to deal with and it must be hard. I think your feelings towards the person who harmed your daughter are natural I have felt like that about someone who has bullied my daughter and over the years of quiet insidieous comments and drawings shared with other children has crushed her self esteem, so you're not alone with those feelings.  when you are a nice person learning that those feelings are powerful is hard to experience. We're only human!

Just remember at some level she knows you love her - the pleasure and the pain.