Thank you so much to you all for your support, and believe me you have been a great help, what wonderful people you all are!
I had an appointment with my daughters head of year today, he was really supportive and has promised to look into self harming more and provide some sort of workshop. We have had a lovely night tonight, we've watched videos from when she was a toddler and laughed and cried at her singing on the karaoke (ok I admit I was singing too). We have also had a great chat and she has told me how she feels, I know that she may continue harming, but she knows that she can talk to me, and hopefully when she feels low we can work through it together. The emotions thing is a really good idea and I think we will implement this, just trying to personalise it a little first.
We have cinema nights(dvd and pizza), a spa break(face masks etc) and a make-over night (slapping it on each other) planned for the next few weeks, they will be enjoyable, but as I say - I am not expecting miracles!
This forum and the advice, support and help I have received is fantastic (I am no longer alone) , I have suggested her head of year should take a look.
So thanks again, I wish I could offer you all the help you have given me