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Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 05:55:51 PM »
Thank you for sticking by me. The cpn is thinking some relationship (sexual) counselling may help me. She is at a loss of how else to help my relationship. If he lived closer it would help but he doesn't want to move and neither do I. He lives in the city where there is no parking and I live 16 miles down the road and he doesn't drive. I work weekends he works in the week so spending time together is difficult. That's just some of the practical barriers I face. The emotional ones are really deep.

I just wish I could shake this low mood. I am not in crisis so maybe my meds are working a little bit. But I am crying most days now and I am not an emotional person. My life sucks, I cannot be adult. My flat is a state because I cannot look after it. I struggle with the pets and I know I once cared for them, I once loved them. I just seem so indifferent now it worried me and upsets me. I want to care again. Maybe this isn't the right med for me. I just cannot be bothered to do anything at the moment. Everything is too much effort. All I want to do somedays is to go back to bed. I am either low or full of nothingness. I am not supposed to be like this. Sometimes I wish that death wasn't so traumatic.
Here and Now Room / Re: Sorry everyone, I'm home. Thanks
« Last post by Vermilion on Yesterday at 03:11:01 PM »
I hope that you can avoid hospital, I know they're awful places. Try and avoid a section though, at least if you go in 'voluntarily' you'll have more say in your treatment. I understand why you don't want to go in though, I have issues being around people too and hospital is one of the worst places I can be but voluntary is better than a section.
Has your GP/CMHT or anyone offered more support? You really do need it and it's ridiculous that you have to fight so hard to get it.
Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Vermilion on Yesterday at 03:00:34 PM »
Adding an AD would be much better than going through withdrawals. If you find ADs helpful then make sure that you say so and hopefully avoid withdrawal.
It dies suck when you do all the right things but can't seem to get better( and then get people rehashing the same advice over and over when said advice obviously isn't working! :banghead:) I hope you can carry on with your groups, working and looking after your  :bunny: and  :guinea_pig:. Hopefully you can stop things getting any worse and in time, with the right support, aybe things will improve for you.
Here and Now Room / Re: Sorry everyone, I'm home. Thanks
« Last post by Tucan on August 17, 2017, 08:13:20 PM »
Bless you. I just want to give you a big hug. If you are not.coping and cannot keep yourself safe then a hospital admission may be an option for you. I understand you not wanting to go on but it may be for the best. It doesn't sound like you are getting the support you need.
Here and Now Room / Re: Physical health & meds worries
« Last post by Popcorn on August 17, 2017, 06:11:24 PM »
That's good that themigraines have disappeared and you had a good enjoyable holiday.

Understand about trying not to focus on your mental health too much, glad ur well

TAge care
Here and Now Room / Re: Sorry everyone, I'm home. Thanks
« Last post by Popcorn on August 17, 2017, 06:01:15 PM »
Managed to get out of my recliner chair yesterday, friend had a me,tdown so I tried to surf another friend she had been supporting but get on well with.

Yesterday was a better day  but stillthoughts there about me not having any worth in life or purpose. Had something arrive in the post a cuddly scented duck. ( I named him doodle not sure why, but he's very cute anyway)

Spoke to a few people online, think it helped. And the fact I managed to order groceries and alcohol. So yeah a lot better day than tossing and lying in my sleeping pit.

Today I've pushed myself to catch up on calls, phoned the lady from Mind and she don't know if befriending service is suitable currently, phoned chemist and a few other things, phoned gp as I still didn't know if doctor will still keep me as her patient, she phoned me back, she's very concerned that my do was a big one and raised a big red flag and I'm not in hospital and I turned away voluntary admission ( anxiety around people is really bad and psych wards can be very chaotic not sure I would cope with the people)  she's a bit concerned I had one extra phonecall as support from this big overdose and that the cpn cancelled the appointment.

I know the doctor cares still feel a burden and a waste of space n resources, she's contacted the community mental health team as she's not happy with the situation, also told me I was putting pressure on her to contact my community mental health team ( which I dunno how she saw that?)  I think she's annoyed not at me as I said to her I did follow everything and kept the promise of calling the step up two weeks ago but then got told and promised I wasn't a burden then promised support and nothing happened.

Sat here sh**ting myself waiting for her to phone back which might not be till morning, worried community mental health team or duty team will phone as well and know there be trouble if I don't answer call as I've promised to keep my spare phone that's a crisis phone on (only a very small amount of people know that number so I don't get PPI and Pizza Hut giving promotions etc on that phone) so when private call displayed I now it's someone from health team.

I just wanna get p**ed, curl up in a ball and sleep, now with my screwed sleep pattern I'm going to have to wake early when I planned to sleep in g I got to sleep at about 5 am and up about 11.30 coos of grocery deliveries.

Really want to harm too, worried I be talked into going in hospital voluntarily and then what happens here is voluntary patients get kicked out cos a section patient comes in or that if I'm voluntarily i get p**ed  off in hospital and pack up and walk out knowing I've got plan in my head.

Sorry for rambling, just struggling. Hoping I dont slide further down later
Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Tucan on August 16, 2017, 09:16:49 PM »
It's a possible option if things don't improve. I hope they will just add an antidepressant as I haven't been on one since January and will be better than coming off meds and changing over. I won't know until I see the pysch in 4 weeks time. For once I would like to be ok. It just isn't fair. It's not fair on you either and I do feel for you. I know you are going through an awful time and have a lot of worries. At least I am still able to work and go to my groups even if I did miss one of them. My achievement of yesterday was to not go back to bed. That is sad.
Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Vermilion on August 16, 2017, 09:01:29 PM »
You sound a lot like me in that you're doing all the right things but still can't get out if the crappy moods. I think that the best we can do is to carry on doing so because if we don't the depression will get the better of us. I hope changing your meds will help.  :hug1:
Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Tucan on August 16, 2017, 03:45:47 PM »
I hope I will feel ok one day. It's not getting better that's the issue. It's staying well. I still get sick on these meds so the cpn is wondering if they are the right ones for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life getting ill every few months. Fair enough I am not in crisis so that's an improvement but I still struggling to do things, still crying, still have no interest in anything, short on patience, poor concentration. Even the cpn agreed I was trying to do all the right things and was impressed with what I was doing. I did miss one of my groups Monday as I couldn't be bothered, and it was a bit much for me. But that's not too bad.
Here and Now Room / Re: Not fair trig od
« Last post by Rob on August 16, 2017, 02:43:27 PM »
It can sometimes take quite a while of tweaking meds to get them right (as you already know), but it can be worth the trouble that it takes if it's done properly and you feel better eventually.
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