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Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds 2
« Last post by sniper on Today at 10:00:50 AM »
When you get the worse nights, try to use a sleeping tablet for that. Try not to rely on them though. By the sounds of it, you don't use them even when it may help, in some ways that's good, but do try them if your sleep starts affecting your day.

Hope you have a good one today. Enjoy the sun.  :hug2:
Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds 2
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 08:49:32 AM »
I am going with the flow. Some nights are worse than others. I am not really tired at night so it is taking a while to get to sleep. I do have sleeping pills in the flat and I have been tempted to take them.
Here and Now Room / Re: Needing advice (poss trig SH, SUI)
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 08:47:58 AM »
It is good that you are using the Samaritans to help you. Every person though is different so don't let one call put you off. You are doing remarkably well considering what you are going through.
Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds 2
« Last post by sniper on Today at 08:44:22 AM »
I think I can relate to that. Takes me a while to figure what's happening when waking up. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes with me, but other times it can take hours. Hoping that today, a level and workable mood comes your way.

Sorry to hear that you're still having difficulties with disturbed sleep. Are you taking any treatments for that? Or, just going with the flow?
Here and Now Room / Re: Iím ok, but....
« Last post by sniper on Today at 08:41:17 AM »
Here and Now Room / Re: Needing advice (poss trig SH, SUI)
« Last post by sniper on Today at 08:40:43 AM »
I have still been having a rough time, I was hoping things would get better. But, it doesn't seem to be. On the outside, everything seems to be going in the right direction. That's because I'm tired of people asking "What's wrong?". Inside however, I am still like a volcano. I'm ready to blow and do something impulsive. I'm trying to keep a hold of it.

I keep trying to talk with Samaritans, but the last call I made I was feeling generalised. Like my situation didn't fit a 'Suicidal Person'. I was put into a category and I felt like, what I was going through, wasn't REALLY a massive problem. The conversation made me feel worse. I had to write about it after in my Journal, as it was consuming me. (Doesn't always work writing it). I thought that everyone and everything was an individual. And, should be treated as such. That no two things are the same, regardless. I always try to treat people as an individual. In my opinion, that is the way of the world.

Okay, so I do know a lot about my 'Issues' and I have a lot of experience with different things, but surely that doesn't make my situation, better?! Just because I am aware of everything, doesn't mean that I "Don't really want to end my life"! I don't get how someone can say that, without 'Living my life'?! Because of this, I'm angry with anyone I'm speaking to. It seems they don't get the utter despair and hopelessness that I feel.

But, maybe it's my fault for not being able to express it in a way they can understand? I always start to believe that, in the end, which invalidates anything I'm feeling or thinking.

The Vicious Cycle is still going round.  :banghead:
Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds 2
« Last post by Tucan on Today at 08:36:06 AM »
I am still not sleeping well and keep waking during the night. Did not want to get up this morning. Kept pressing snooze on my alarm. My mood hasn't had time to set in yet so not sure what I am feeling yet.
Survivor Room / Re: The stigma of self harm
« Last post by sniper on Today at 08:26:31 AM »
I faced a similar issue with the Stigma when I decided a few years ago to wear shorts. I have scars, pretty much everywhere. I kept my legs covered for years because of this. They are TOO visible. I got used to my arms being uncovered. Now I have scars on face, I thought "I'm tired of being too hot in the summer". I asked my family for their opinions and they said that people don't really look at legs when out and about. I thought differently. I gave it a shot wearing shorts and felt so uncomfortable for weeks. Eventually I got used to it. I have had many people ask about the scars, which blows the confidence of wearing shorts, but I persevered. I get what you say about recent SH too. I try to keep hidden until they are less noticeable.

When I went swimming once, (Which I don't do often because of the scars and I cannot swim!), I wore some long shorts rather than a costume. I was so distracted and hyper-vigilant about everything around me, that I didn't enjoy that time, one bit. I decided that I just won't go there, but everyone has different levels of tolerance to that. Another time, I wore the long shorts and I was told I couldn't go in the pool wearing them, It was against regulations. That confused me, because why should it be different when Men/Boys can wear long shorts and not Women/Girls?

The Stigma is still there even though a lot more people are open about it these days.

I would like a Full Body Skin Transplant, so I can have nice skin again and not feel judged or questioned.
Here and Now Room / Re: Messed up meds 2
« Last post by sniper on Today at 08:13:04 AM »

Awesome to hear. How are things today, so far?
Here and Now Room / Re: Iím ok, but....
« Last post by Terri on Today at 12:13:49 AM »
It might also be easier to manage now you know what's behind it, and that it's finite?

I find this helpful when it comes to my MH stuff. I don't really get hormonal, but I know when I've had issues with medication and stuff, it's really helped to be able to think "OK, so things feel really sh** right now, but give it X days and I'll start to feel better again."
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