:trig: :trig: s/a
..First of all am sorry if this will turn into a epic post, its been quite a while since i,ve been on here, the last time i s/harmed was July 1st last year, apart from a few slips i,ve had no serious slips.
..After 2 & a half years i got my Counselling of which started in Feb, my first Counsellor was,nt a real "match" but the one i have now is fantastic...we are just going into the issue of s/a by my Brother...god its so so hard.
..I lost my main job at Xmas due the issue of my mental health (nothing at all to do with my abilty to clean (am a cleaner)..had been there 5yrs, my Counsellor & Cpn were digusted the way they treated me...after a few weeks rest i fought back & got myself another job, & i,d lost my Holiday to i,d booked, as i did,nt know if i,d get other employment...so i,ve booked myself another holiday for Sept, of which i can,t wait.
..How do others feel about revealing any s/h scars in this hot weather ?..now i had to clean my own Gp,s Surgery (i was covering for someone)..it left me feeling in a bad place you know, one of the horrible nurses who treated one of my s/h scars once was there, she neither said hello & said something to the receptionist about she,d just seen a patient with Mental Health issues...i felt so uncomfortable guys, all my notes would of been known..but anyhow i got on with my job as quick as i could so i could go..
..The past few days i,ve gone out in short sleeves, & while i still do try to hide them, i don,t see why i should be ashamed, i was s/a, emotionally abused by my Mum & elder Sister, been left to care for my twin whom i love to death...i work part time as a cleaner as well as coping with Epilepsy & poor eyesight.
..If i hide under full sleeves i think it,il look like am hiding something, its so hot cleaning in this heat...if i can put up with the stares should i just go bare armed ??...yes there not nice to look at (they have faded quite alot) but its not my fault i was abused in so many ways, my s/h stopped me from a mucher worse fate...i feel am comfortable with the scars now, there part of me & a reminder how far i,ve come..its other peoples reation, but thats there problem is,nt it ?
..If people really want to know why there there, should i just say "there from when i was poorly but am in a better place now" or just say "it,s private but if you honestly want to know, am not ashamed to tell you".
..So sorry for long thread, it,s just been a while since i,ve been on here, but am still here & still fighting...hope all you lovely Girls & Guys are well xxxxxx