Author Topic: How much more  (Read 466 times)

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Online Tucan

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Re: How much more
« Reply #40 on: September 09, 2017, 08:02:57 AM »
Just do your best chick
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


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Online Popcorn

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Re: How much more
« Reply #41 on: September 09, 2017, 10:49:00 PM »
 Xxx
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free from all those chains holding me ~ lighthouse family

Offline Vermilion

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Re: How much more
« Reply #42 on: September 10, 2017, 09:10:53 PM »
Thongsare awful for you right now popcorn, I hope the shrink helps you Monday.  :hug1: :hug2:
Frankly Autocorrect, I'm rather sick of your bull shirt.

Online Tucan

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Re: How much more
« Reply #43 on: September 11, 2017, 09:24:38 AM »
Let us know how it goes with your appointment
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were decievers ever'

Online Popcorn

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Re: How much more
« Reply #44 on: September 13, 2017, 06:28:23 PM »
I slipped again and took an od Saturday and just slept all of Sunday, Sunday was 1 year since I last spoke to mum

I'm fine, I just slept quite a bit.

Didn't see my consultant saw a trainee psychiatrist ( she hadn't quite completed her training was her words..... she went to great me and I pushed away and said before I got anxiety around people and she did it again (DUR!!!)

When we got in the room, we were fine seated then half way through moved the chair and lent forward as far as she could...I backed into my chair.

She knew b***** all about me, had no notes with her, made notes of the appointment on scrap bit of paper ( which she accidentally gave to me at the end and it had scribbles on about other patients but her handwriting is b***** bad)

I told her about the 2 overdoses this week, asked why I did them, I didn't feel I could comfortably talk to her as my anxiety was sky high as was thinking I was seeing my normal consultant psychiatrist.
She asked my conditions I said my mental health Ines and her face changed when I said BPD (oh not another one of them) looks.

Basically she threatened then and their she was going to pick up phone in front of me and phone my doctor's and tell them to stop ALL my medications as I'm drinking.  She pointed out all these certain meds for your pain can be sedative. She was going to stop all the PRN medications too like lorazepam which I take when I really must have to leave the house with someone. I explained I had physical health problems and live in pain. It wasn't until said a few other bits did she then back down a little ( I was sat thinking,fine no meds is hell and I can't move around my flat without them, I definitely go top myself) but didn't share that.

She's told me by the time I see her next appointment she wants me to cut right down and said even 1 can of cider is too much really, explained I'd been on these meds long time and they still helping pain etc and that I require them and I'm very careful the days I take lorazepam regarding my alcohol intake.

So she threatened me!!!!!!!  I'm deeply upset by this, my first psychaitrist did this sort of thing and he was evil and cruel, I've been threatened as I'm a abuse victim, I don't need a not fully qualified psychaitrist to threaten me, the threat still is there if I have t reduced to one can or nil by the time of next appointment with me.
Well I don't want to see the b****... sorry the best way I work is with the professionals on an respectful level and considering my knowledge of medical and health stuff as had a career in the health sector

She blatantly refused antidepressants and blatantly refused anything for anxiety, said when u stop drinking your feel better.... and then we can address any issues ( like they just put it off)

She was also addiment  that a service called complex needs was the very best thing for me, I pointed out I had gone through the assessment and gone into the getting ready group but they won't accept people who have a need for physical pain relief, she tried to lecture me that's not so and she could definitely get me back in the service and move from the getting ready group into the therapy group.
Been through the getting ready group 4 f***ing times.

One of these I don't know you but I threaten you and force you to do what I want as your psychatrist.

She didn't even pursue much of a conversation about the overdoses and said I would end up being more disabled if I kept doing this cos of my liver ( liver was fine a few weeks ago)

IM f***ING DRINKING TO COPE WITH ALL THE sh** IN 18 months.

She said she would like to see me again, well I'm asking not to via letter to cpn

Cpn who is closely monitoring me via the support worker so whilst we are outside where any one can here us and doing exposure therapy and whilst I'm stressing out, hyper- vigilant and hyperventilating and convinced I'm going to be assaulted and need to be on guard if someone gets within 20 metres of me.

All I want is to improve my mental health.

I took my prescribed meds last night the way she said and I never f***ing slept, Quetipine and 7 hours later I'm awake, and I had one earlier to calm my head down.
Not sure my family doctor is going to be too happy of the outcome of the appointment when she phoned me after surgery Friday between 6-7pm.

Got a rest day from everything tomorrow, it's me day.

Still been in bed a lot, psychaitrist and cpn didn't notice I was wearing my nightshirt at appointment but support worker did today couldn't care a sh** about changing

The only appointments I have coming up is one with support worker for gradual exposure therapy and the second part to this psychological assessment ( first part was in April on my birthday, 2 and part was due the day Quentin died so postponed it)  friends mum is taking me and I be on lorazepam weather or not she likes it. Guess the b**** I saw other day will say something like I can't have therapy yet cos I'm drinking, as the b**** wanted to cancel the appointment and was a dime to complex needs was the answer when it's not if ur physically disabled... b******S

 Sorry been in tears a lot today and last night regarding Lucy and Quentin and not sure I can keep fighting especially if this psychological al therapies asssessment goes tits up , want therapy in a unit she saw me on a good day, she wants to know about the bad days, to sure how I express it

Sorry it's so long and sorry to burden u all



 
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free from all those chains holding me ~ lighthouse family

Online Tucan

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Re: How much more
« Reply #45 on: September 13, 2017, 08:36:41 PM »
Bless you. I am.sorry the appointment didn't go well.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were decievers ever'

Online Popcorn

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Re: How much more
« Reply #46 on: September 13, 2017, 11:06:57 PM »
Just got to try and get to the psychologists part 2 appointment and wonder if she care a sh** or right me off too.

Do I have to lye cos of threats about the alcohol?

Didn't sleep last night, been out on lorazepam with support worker today, not sure I can now be completely honest with them if they going to throw threats at me like my first psychiatrist where is escalated, head still spinning and won't shut up.
Self harm I did days ago still hurts.

Having a national F off everyone it's a ME day tomorrow, hopefully I sleep and neighbour won't have his music on loud, or his giggly girlfriend clunking around in her hills above me
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free from all those chains holding me ~ lighthouse family

Online Tucan

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Re: How much more
« Reply #47 on: September 14, 2017, 08:57:08 AM »
Is there a way you could start drinking less?
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were decievers ever'

Online Popcorn

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Re: How much more
« Reply #48 on: September 15, 2017, 03:52:58 PM »
It took 7 hours for 150 mg  Quetipine to work when I only had one can of cider like the b**** told me. Then I only slept for 2 hours.

Got doctor due to phone soon, after that I'm 5 days all by myself.

Then got the psychologist Wednesday part 2 assessment. Not sure she's going to be happy about lorazepam cause the social anxiety and depression not treated, however she did want to see me in crisis or hear about it.
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free from all those chains holding me ~ lighthouse family

Online Tucan

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Re: How much more
« Reply #49 on: September 15, 2017, 05:42:07 PM »
Bless you. Sorry you have barely slept. That sucks. Hope the phone call to the doctor's went well.
now hand over the tea bags and we won't have any trouble.... :police:


'Sigh no more ladies sigh no more for men were decievers ever'